Friday, 23 March 2012

I heart Lindsey Kelk

Some of you will know her from her brilliant column in Marie Claire, and many of you will know her from her amazing series of books about Angela in I heart Hollywood, I heart New York, I heart Vegas and I heart Paris, with I heart London to be released in a few months time. Lindsey is also the author of The Single Girls To Do List and of ebook Jennifer Lopez has a bad week.

What inspired you to write?
I've always written, ever since I was little but the main thing that made me start writing I Heart New York was boredom!

Is it something you have always wanted to do?
Yep. I've been telling and writing stories for as long as I can remember but I never thought I'd be so lucky as to do it for a job. It's amazing.

I seem to recall you not planning on being a 'chick lit' writer, what sort of writing had you hoped to do?
There was never a plan, it just wasn't a genre I was terribly well read in. I worked in children's publishing and I read a lot of literary fiction so I was as surprised as anyone when I Heart New York appeared.

You've ended up doing a series of books about Angela, does she now feel like a friend?
She does. It was so hard writing I Heart London because I knew I wouldn't be writing her again for a while. Hopefully I've done her justice.

Is it hard to break out of that storyline to write something else?
So hard! When I started writing The Single Girl's To-Do List, it was SO hard in the beginning but once I got into the rhythm of it, I found it just as tricky to get back into the I Hearts... it's complicated!

Briefly describe your writing process.
Oh lord, it's never the same but it mostly involves me not sleeping for several weeks and eating a LOT of sweets and drinking too much Diet Pepsi.

How did you find the right agent for you?
We met through a friend. It's always great to get a recommendation if you can because it's such a personal relationship.

What are your thoughts on ebooks?
I think they're great. I'll always love paper books but I can't imagine being without my Kindle these days.

You have recently published a short novel for the kindle, is this a dipping the toe in the water type thing with e publishing or just a one off?
It was more of a treat for the fans in between I Heart books. I write a lot and I write fast so I was keen to do something for everyone who was missing Angela and Jenny.

The future of publishing houses seems to be changing quite dramatically at the moment, what are your thoughts on this?
It is changing so fast. I've only been out of it (as an editor) for a year and it's already moved on so much. I think it's just a difficult time and having a good agent and a supportive editor is all you can hope for at the moment. Change isn't always a bad thing, it's just a case of riding it out until it settles down.

I've only just started writing and find I can only write for myself, do you find the same or do you write in a more calculated fashion? I ask because I was told to always find out what sells and write towards that but it doesn't feel natural to me.
I only ever write for myself. When I worry too much what other people are thinking about, it just doesn't work and everyone can tell. Stick to what feels right to you!

A friend recently read my first attempt at a book and I was amazed at how hard it was to put my written word out there - how did you feel to see your words in print for the first time?
It was crazy. Because I'd worked as an editor, all through the publishing process, it felt a bit like work. Still amazing but just a special project rather than my book. The first time I saw it in a shop, it was mental. I freaked out, my friend took photos... it was all very exciting. In Sainsbury's in Wandsworth...

Any advice for wannabe authors like myself?
Just keep going! It's not easy and if it's not something you desperately want, it can get depressing so yeah, it's all about passion and desire and persistence.

Going back to the wonderful series of Angela Clark, are the stories totally made up or are they based on true events?
The storylines are completely fictional but there are always a few bits and pieces from real like that make it in - places, a few people, the odd anecdote. But always painted over with Angela's life.

Do you find yourself living vicariously through Angela?
Definitely! I want her life!

Do you know how many more books will be in the 'I heart....' series?
I Heart London is the end of the road for now but I think she'll be back one day...

You can find more information about Lindsey here:
http://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href='http://www.lindseykelk.com
http://www.iheartlindseykelk.com/

If you have not yet read her books then get yourself over to Lindsey's website and buy them...all!!

Thursday, 22 March 2012

Religion

To me - this should be a personal thing.
Whatever helps you - well it helps you and no one should judge that.
But I am very bored of how often it is used as an excuse for things.
Religion doesn't cause violence and problems - people do.  Ego's do.
The Religion is used as an excuse.
I fail to find a religion that says you should kill your fellow man or that condones suicide.
So many bad acts are done by humans under the disguise of religion.
I get asked my views a lot.
I don't really know why.
Maybe it's because I keep quiet and listen.
But this is how it is.
I don't let one person preach to me, I let the whole world teach me.
That is my religion.
Mother Nature if you will.
You only need to treat others how you wish to be treated and respect the earth.
We don't 'own' it.  I don't know why there are so many wars over land - we don't 'own' it - we are privelidged to be here and to be able to make the use of it - but it's not yours, and it's not mine.
Be kind.  That's all you really need to do.
Be aware of your footprint - try to make it as light as possible.
And that's pretty much my views on religion.

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

When love walks out the door....




.....it can make your soul bleed. You feel like you will never feel anything but this pain and hurt and confusion again. You will cry, you will weep, you will mourn, you will freeze, you will just stare into space, you will feel like you will never be normal again. Then you will get angry. Spitting crying raging angry. Then you will be empty and numb. You will still feel like you will never get over this. But you will. All that pain - it's been there to make sure you do something. It's been making you think, making you analyse, giving you a bit of space and time to yourself. If you are smart you will assess things and look at what went right and what not so well, you will learn, you will grow and you will become a much better human being for it. When you are in the thick of it - any advice will make you mad - but do believe it - because the old cliches are old because they are true. Time will really heal you and that is all you need. That, and some good friends and family, silly films and a tub of ice cream. Allow yourself to greive. Then embrace the new, improved you. Go into the world bigger and bolder, able to love again and willing to love again. Work at your own pace, don't set time limits. Those that fail normally bounce from one relationship to the other, never growing or learning and just getting bitter. You may need some motivation to get you through the first stages. There's nothing like sticking your fingers up to your past love by going out there and being fabulous. You have to ultimately do all this for you though. One other thing to remember....you are not alone, we've all had these moments or we all will - we will all feel like a failure but the only failing is if you don't allow yourself to learn. You will love again. Bigger and better than ever before.

Where did we get it all wrong?

We talk. And talk. And talk and talk and talk and talk.
If someone just looks at us, we talk more, we get nervous, we say too much. We can’t take any of it back. They keep on looking. We talk even more. Then we probably run away.
Now the other person may just have been listening. If we all just talked it would be a ridiculously selfish noisy world.
Oh wait…….isn’t that what this world is or has sort of become?
We criticise the child that doesn’t talk, but maybe they are thinking, forming their thoughts. This should be praised. I mean how contradictory are we?
We tell off the child that doesn’t answer us straight away, we tell off the adult that does the same. We fill our lives with chatter and talking over each other. Is this not just rude?
We scream at the child ‘Think before you speak dammit!’
Well um they were trying but then got shouted out for ignoring the person speaking to them.

Once upon a time people understood the land. Then technology came along and we all assumed it was advancement. In some ways it was. In other ways….not so much – it was more entrapment rather than advancement.
We now spend lots and lots of money to get the weather forecast wrong.
Once upon a time people would look at the ground, they would read the sky, they would feel the wind change and know for sure what was coming. That cost nothing. Just understanding and silence. The modern world is scared of silence. It was drawn to my attention that this is why people build on all land – that the open space is like silence – they can’t deal with it so have to fill it. Well isn’t that just the biggest shame ever. We go on holiday and love the tranquillity and love the views, yet we do all we can in the modern world to fill those views with concrete and steal and talk all over each other to stop the silence. When did we get it so wrong?



The only bit of land I ‘own’ is some rainforest I gave money towards to hopefully stop it being used, built on or taken away. I don’t have the money to buy a house, and I keep thinking if that’s really the way it’s meant to be. If I stand on the same spot for a day, for ten years I will never, ever grow roots from my feet to keep me there – so why are we hell bent on saying that we have to root our life to one small space of bricks and mortar? Are we not meant to be freer than that?



Is it not wrong to take nature and pour concrete all over it? Have we not become trapped by our longing for belongings! Wasn’t the world far more beautiful when people shared. You would share each others wealth and you would share each others hardship, you would become one – no one would suffer alone. People still suffer, people are still rich, people are still poor – but now we don’t share. We teach people to stay away – to not touch that this does not belong to them – we get quite maddened by what we ‘own’.



There’s a whole world out there we could look after and share together, but instead we hold on to little bits and bobs, we fill our houses with things, things we don’t even use half the time – but it’s ours don’t take it away – it’s mine, get your hands off!
Again it was brought to my attention that if we took all the storage space we used to store this ‘stuff’ and let people live in that space then there would be no one living on the street and homeless. There is enough food and wealth in this world for everyone to be ok. Yet somewhere, somehow it was decided that some should have more and some should have less.

Why?
Who decided this?

Are you really telling me that some of those socialites out there are more worthy?
Are you really telling me that footballers do a more vital job than doctors?

So the more I look at it the more I realise that it’s not money that makes you rich! It’s not belongings that give you freedom. It’s not the weather channel that tells you the correct weather. It’s not the ability to talk non stop that is important – it’s the ability to not just listen – it’s the ability to actually hear what is being said, to hear what is not being said, to see what is going on around us. Don't we even refer to it as the 'trappings' of the modern world!?
We are not meant to be zooming along from A – Z, we are meant to be strolling through life – soaking up the vast experiences around us, learning, looking and passing it on.



Once upon a time we breathed deeply – now we barely breathe at all.

Think about it.

Friday, 16 March 2012

Stuart, A Life Backwards

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuqtNxH0tdM If you can watch this clip then please do. Especially the scene with the bacon sandwich from 4 mins 12 seconds. It made me cry laughing This film made me cry with laughter and with sadness. It's a true story about this guy. It's decided that the story should go backwards - to explain why Stuart is like he is. The opening scenes are that of a drugged up voice Stuart (played amazingly well by Tom Hardy). You hear the voice and something in you thinks drugged up, drunk lay about. Benedict Cumberbatch plays the Social worker that decides he wants to write a book about Stuart, his client quickly becomes his friend. As the story unfolds it grips you, it will break your heart, but you will have this overwhelming sense of how wrong we are to judge. How terrible it is that thanks to some sick people, Stuarts life was ruined. You see through the drink and the drugs, you start to understand why they are there, and instead you focus on the funny and intelligent person Stuart is. Definitely read the book - if the film was this good the book is going ot be amazing. And definitely watch the film - the acting is amazing - but be prepared - it will grip you and it will break your heart.

Thursday, 15 March 2012

I will let someone else speak for me.

Say that again!??!

I just read something horrific. I know, I know - you should believe nothing you read and only half of what you see, but....... A young girl was forced to marry her rapist, who in the few months they have been married has beaten her and god know's what. Why did she marry her rapist? The courts ordered her to. In Morocco a rapist can avoid a jail term if they 'restore the virtue' of their victim. What now? Sorry? Excuse me? How outrageously ridiculous is that!!! The girl who was attacked is dishonored as is her family! Um what about the low life scum that attacked her? What about his family? What about him! These laws go beyond basic rights and sexism. This is seriously messed up. You want to know something else that is messed up? Amina Filali killed herself. She drank rat poison. Her husband so outraged he dragged her into the street by her hair. This is not about religion. This is not about honor. This is something deeply messed up. Morocco is not that far away from the UK, not really. But look how far away in real terms it is? How far removed it is from what is right and just to a human being. More and more this world, sorry, scratch that, this world is beautiful, the people in it? Not so much!

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Nights like these

I'm feeling a chill so looking at the fire will help right!?!?! Just imagine, a nice hot summers day and then a bbq/party on the beach with marshmallows in the evening, just as the sun is setting, the world imluminated with the soft orange glow of the sun, the glisten of it's dying embers twinkling away on the waves, as they crash gentle against the now cooled down sand on the beach. You can hear the gentle cry of the gulls as they swoop down on someone's left over chip wrapper, there are no cars, the giggle of children allowed up past their bedtimes drift over from the pier as they win toys and make themselves sick on candyfloss. You'll hear the computerised drown of the fun fare rides and the attendants repeating 'scream if you wanna go faster.' the sounds of the screams will wash over you and drift away into the night, you will see the boats right out on the horizon just shaped by the lights they have out on deck. The sun will slowly fade away and you will look up - the heat of the fire on your face, and you will watch the stars twinkle in the night sky.

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

The not so serious one

The serious one

Prozac nation is a good book - her other work - not so much - but this, this is a great quote. Read it again and think about it one moment. We are in a time where there is so much choice. It could be seen as a good thing but it seems to confuse people and put so much pressure onto everyone. The idea of success if getting more and more warped over time. The youth are expecting more and more for doing less and less. Times are hard. The average adult is expected to have a whole series of mini break downs in their life time now. The family unit is broken. Community spirit barely exists. We, as intelligent human beings with the capacity to understand so much seem to fail or seem unwilling to try to understand our fellow human being. We assume if someone smiles that they are happy. Have you never heard of the tears of a clown? We think it, therefore we are. Well sadly no that's not true. A friend of mine worked with a girl that seemed OK, she seemed to have a nice enough life, she told her she'd been feeling a little down. She went home that weekend and didn't arrive at work on Monday, or on Tuesday, people were starting to moan about her, then someone went to her house. She'd killed herself after work on that Friday afternoon. A young man from Crouch End recently killed himself, on February 14th, I don't know if the date is significant to the act or not. No one seemed to sense his pain and his anguish. His last tweet now seems to explain a lot. Just like DJAM's....it seemed like a sad tweet nothing more and nothing less but the body found the next day confirmed it was a signing off from this world. There were two suicides in one area of London on the tubes on Sunday. People are still jumping from 'Suicide bridge' in Archway. There are a million and one cases similar to this around the world all the time. Yet still we won't talk about depression. We see it as a dirty word, as though it's something that is contagious, as though it's something self indulgent and we should just buck up and stop moaning. We feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness. We suffer alone. Can you imagine feeling so lost that taking your own life - that precious thing called life - just taking it and extinguishing the last little bits of light from it? If only we stopped to care. If only we stopped the prejudice. Don't assume you know someone, don't assume you know their life and what they are going through. The man that was just rude to you in the local shop - maybe he's just lost his loved one. You can't go around excusing everyone for everything but I think we can all do a little bit more to understand depression, to try to help and to try to build some form of community again. We all are more than capable of caring.

Thursday, 8 March 2012

I wish people would stop trying so hard to be something they are not and realise the person they already are is pretty damn special.

I have a problem. All jokes aside, I have a real problem. Or by problem, maybe I mean issue? I have an issue with the way women and young girls are treating themselves. The way that so many are finding solace in really dangerous ways. It doesn’t take rocket science to understand where a lot of the pressure comes from. It’s not necessarily your peers as you maybe think it is. Years ago there was this thing called not allowing women education or to get jobs or to have a basic voice, you can call it oppression – you can call it what you want but it wasn’t really fair. There is no big rant here just a few observations. When women won the right to vote (well certain women were granted the right anyway – I think it totally still depended on what colour your skin was and where you came from), but when women could get an education and vote, the beauty myth was then invented. This is where you started to find cosmetics and the fashion industry stepping up. Women started to be told they should be this that or the other and they should look a certain way and dress in certain clothes. It’s a market that is insatiable. It’s never ending. Just look at the amount of lotions and potions on the market – each one advertised as the best ever, then a few months later and even better than ever product will come out. If they were so good we would need one lotion and bam the job would be done. You can’t really alter your genetics and I am afraid that has a lot to do with the shape of your hips, the condition of your skin, the size of your boobs and where you retain fat, even down to the look of your teeth and whether or not you get cellulite. I hate to tell you – it’s rarely to do with a lotion or potion. When this started to falter and people got a bit suspicious – the cosmetic industry opened its doors to allow anyone to have surgery. It wasn’t just disfigured people or people that had been ravaged by cancer. It was mentally ill people. Oh my god, did I just say that? Did I just say that people seeking plastic surgery to appear beautiful were mentally ill? Well hell yeah I did. Forgive me this gross generalisation for one moment. Lola Ferrari. An extreme case I grant you – but one where she was deluded into thinking she looked like Bridget Bardot. Where someone was happy to butcher her as long as she could pay. Lola used to get bullied when she walked down the street due to her humungous chest. She couldn’t fly in a plane otherwise they would explode. She could only sleep in a chair otherwise the implants would suffocate her. She was striving to be beautiful but sadly all this was in her head, she couldn’t see what she was doing to herself, nothing was ever enough – she thought she looked amazing. She looked far more beautiful at the start. She died an early death. Hers is a very tragic tale. But look you can see it everywhere. Anna Nicole Smith. Marilyn Monroe. I was bowled over backwards to learn how much surgery Marilyn had. No wonder the poor cow was so bent double with insecurities. She herself used to cry that no one wanted to know her, they just wanted to know Marilyn. Thing is she was pretty stunning before but was told she was not good enough. We are fed this image. It’s not realistic, it’s not natural and we don’t fully understand the health implications. It’s only now that we are seeing the devastation being caused to many women’s bodies thanks to over use of surgery and fillers, scar tissue that cannot heal, implants that are not long term no matter what the label said. They are slowly being eaten by the body – but we don’t know it until some horrible infection happens or something quite literally explodes. Women are starting to look weird and feline as they all cross over the line of a tweak here and there and suddenly things look a bit too sharp, too pointy or too full. Why do we all want to look the same? Why do we all want to bow down to peer pressure and look a certain way? Why can’t we explore who we really are? Embrace our true selves? Why can’t we herald individuality and realise that beauty is only skin deep. We should not just think as long as we are all tits and arse then nothing else matters. Girls out there are dying from botched surgery. Girls out there are dying from starving themselves. Either chasing an ideal they can never get because really they are suffering from Body Dysmorphia, or they think they look too fat and are not eating properly and developing eating disorders. Something on the increase as people feel more out of control and unable to get the ideal beauty. That’s because it is a myth set up to make us keep wanting more, needing more, spending more money, staying insecure. The economy needs it. And if you are a man reading this thinking it doesn’t affect you – you are wrong! With the increase of men’s health and fashion magazines the increase in male eating disorders and cosmetic surgery has rocketed. Welcome to your very own beauty myth lads. Or if you think but I like a woman with a huge rack. Just spare a thought for the crippling back pain most end up with, or the self doubt that goes on behind the Barbie doll physic, or the seeping in to the blood stream of poisoness chemicals. Is it really worth it? Of course it’s not. We should be sending out positive messages into the world. We should be putting our efforts into being good human beings with a caring heart and a good personality. You may dismiss the film but this is why I love the sentiment of Shallow Hal. I am not – before you say it – saying that anyone that has surgery is a bad person – far from it – they can be the best person ever but they are helping to feed a negative, dangerous and quite often illegal industry. I wish people would stop trying so hard to be something they are not and realise the person they already are is pretty damn special.

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

Just be yourself everyone else is taken

Double standards can go take a hike!

So are you yet screeching that I am a feminist? Let me tell you something....feminism is a good thing - just a bunch of sexists took the word and made it ugly. If you are a woman and you work you are basically a feminist, as the initial idea was to give women a voice, to allow them a vote, to allow them to work and to get an education. These are good things. There shouldn't be double standards. No one sex is lesser or better. It's who we are as individuals that make us a success or a failure. If you are a man you should have the right to be a househusband, or a nurse without being demasculated...(check the urban dictionary, it is a word). I have the right as a woman to wear a dress or a skirt or trousers, as a man if you wish to wear a skirt - feel free. I don't judge you on such simple things. If you do the same job as me and happen to have something hanging between your legs, I do not believe this means you should get less or more money than me. We should be judged on how well we do that job. If you are a good person, if you try to be positive, if you work for what you have and you respect yourself and others, now then I will take note and be interested in you. Double standards can go take a hike!

Social status



Someone once told me that your social setting at school stays with you for life.

At school I had a group of friends, small but good.
I didn't really feel like I fit in with the 'in' crowd.
I saw the 'in' crowd as bitchy and fickle.

I moved away and found myself, I found my wings, and I sure spread them and flew.
Then I felt like my wings got clipped.

I've spent some time mending them - they are not quite the same as they were - more weather worn.

And here I am looking at life and many people in it and thinking you know what I am so grateful for my little group of friends, they are a diverse bunch but ultimately they are a bunch with hearts of gold and that is what counts.

So maybe whoever told me that statement was correct.

And as much as there were times at school when things were tough - I wouldn't really have it any other way.

Bare faced cheek



I could personally never be one of those girls that spends an hour or two scrubbing off fake tan to put on another.
To then wash, straighten, curl, their hair every day.
To spend 2 hours on make up.
I wouldn't even know how to spend two hours on make up.
I personally have never been tempted to have a boob job.
I don't judge those that do all of the above but I thought about this the other day, maybe they look better than me, I've generally found women like the above that I meet are very insecure, they are so super into their looks because they are so doubtful of their real selves, now this of course is not true for everyone, but I never have to worry about my body attacking an implant I've had put inside me, I don't think anyone knows the long term effect of such things and surgery and fillers etc and I want to be OK with myself.
I want to get to a point where I don't need other people's approval of what I look like to make me feel OK.
I want to be OK with me, warts and all.
I don't want to look like everyone else.
I don't want to look like a cliche.
And whilst some people are spending 4 hours getting ready - I am outside with my camera living life or already down the pub thanks very much.
Nearly every man I know says the moment they find their girlfriend most attractive is when they are half asleep, bed head, oversized pj's or their mans shirt and without a scrap of make up on.
So you wonder, who is selling girls this image that makes them invest so heavily in the cosmetic industry, that keeps them so insecure, that keeps them competing, hmmm I wonder.

The circle of life



It's sad but true how quickly love can turn to hate.
How quickly those sweet feelings can turn so sour.
How strangers are people to not be trusted, to be wary of.
But sometimes we have a flight of fancy and we let a stranger in.
They become a friend.
They might even become a loved one.
Then if it all goes sour they become the enemy.
And on it goes.

Once upon a time the love of your life was a stranger.
Once upon a time the person you thought was the love of your life becomes your enemy.

Once upon a time the person you thought was your best friend becomes a stranger....then a stranger becomes your best friend.

Some they come, some they go

Some people come into your life for a second - they lift you up and then they go.
Some people see you through from start to finish.
Sometimes your best friends aren't always the people you have known the longest.
Sometimes you can look at your friends and wonder how you ended up with them, but you wouldn't change them for the world.
One best friend is better than a million aquaintances.
You can be yourself with a true friend.
You don't have to always look your best and they will love you anyway.
They will be honest with you.
They will pick up the pieces and they will wipe away your tears and they will be the first to make you smile again.
They will forgive you.
They will know when you want a hug, and when you want to be left alone.
They will be your chosen family.
Don't forget them for they are important.

Once upon a time many moons ago.....

I stumbled across a band called Mest. Almost as long ago I found out they were playing very close to my home town. I set off to meet my younger brother - only to hear he had gotten really ill and couldn't make it. I pondered and decided I didn't fancy it on my own so I would maybe just go next time.......but oh no.....there looked like there was never to be a next time as the band split. A few years passed and they got back together and I got to go.

You know you've had a good time when at 6pm the next day you still feel shady and your cheek still hurts where you got accidentally kicked by a crowd surfer.

The picture of me and Tony are very dodgy - one of them could win a funny caption contest for sure.







Tuesday, 6 March 2012

One world, one people

Ever since I was a tiny child and I have photographic evidence to back this up, I've always been on the side of the Indian.

A few years ago I started researching the history as much as I could.

I have a long way to go to understanding anything.
The history and culture is vast, it is lush and it is down right devastating.
The things that happened to these people were nothing short of outrageous.
To know a little of the poverty many of them live in today is down right appauling.
The tales and the lessons they had/have are/were fascinating.
Their understanding of nature was second to none.

I think we could all learn alot from their ways and their respect for the earth and mother nature.



I then read a girl's account on twitter where she was outraged at western people using 'her' images, being sarcastic about the spiritual connection anyone other than a native has to these images and symbols.

I think she was missing the point.

All Natives wanted was for everyone to get on and be free. To be kind. Surely that is an open door policy to anyone that is kind.
They took in whites that were their friend.
Her attitude seemed to me to be one of her own battle, to be shutting down and shutting out people that might care and understand.
You can't blame someone for what they are born as.
Spirituality is not exclusive in who it allows in.
That is one of the points I think some of these outrageous acts in history point out.
It was an early form of genocide, it still continues in many ways in many countries today.
That should not be so.
By putting labels and exclusivity on things I think you help to keep them alive.
If something is worth saying, say it.
If something is worth believing, beleive it.
If you find something that touches your heart, go with it.
If you know of a better way, teach it.
It's one world.
We should be one people.

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Oh to always think so positively!

Heart knows best!



It's true - your heart can over rule your thinking and sometimes that is not good but a lot of the time it knows best.
Sometimes we get stuck in trying to label things, impress others, assuming we know best but sometimes your heart has to butt in and take control.
Not all things make sense to us - but trust your instincts.

I know a number of girls that say they want a huge list of specific things in a man. Then they wonder why they are single. It's fine to have standards but there is a limit to when that just becomes plain picky and where you start to sabbotage your own happiness.
One friend swore blind she had to go out with an indie pretty boy that was this that and the other - although it had never worked out when she had got involved with someone like that. I dared to say that maybe what she thought she wanted wasn't what she needed at all.

Life has a weird way of throwing you curve balls but also life has a weird way of working itself out.

Don't dismiss chances and opportunities just because it doesn't quite fit the mould of what you think you want and need - the best thing I learnt was just to be open to life.

Friday, 2 March 2012

You know it's because I am a Princess.



You don't hear many classics like the princess and the pea anymore, but when I was little I used to laugh at the ridiculousness of this tale but love it too.
A few years back I woke up with my back bruised like nothing I had seen before, all I could find was a big wrinkle in the sheet.
Proving, thus, to any doubters, that I really am a Princess.

You are beautiful no matter what they say



To me beauty comes from within and shines through you.
You can spend time with someone beautiful that is a total bitch or so self occupied that they become ugly very fast.
You can also spend time with someone not so blessed in the looks department but if they are kind and make you laugh I bet you find them more attractive by the end of your conversation.
There are so many people out there with ego's they shouldn't have and so many people that are just lovely but don't see it.

Laugh like no one is watching



Be free, have fun, be nice, laugh like no one is watching.
Remember the scene in Breakfast at Tiffany's where they steal the masks and go out for the day.
Remember what it is like to laugh freely without a care in the world!

What did you say?



Many moons ago I was walking up the stairs in a pub and a man held a door open for me, I smiled and said 'Thank you!'
Really agressively he said 'What did you say!?!?!'
I paused, reflected and ran the mini conversation over in my head and came to the conclusion I had definitely been nice and hadn't said 'F..k you very much' accidentally or anything like that so......I said, 'Um...thank....you!'
He laughed and said 'It's ok dear, I just haven't heard those words in years!'

Time is more important than money!



It's Friday.
Yahooo.
How many people, no matter how much you love your job end up wishing away your life to get to the weekend?

How many people are there probably in the world that hide away at the weekend too?

I don't know about you but I find London life can be so full or so empty - for a place with so many people in it, it can be very isolating.

That was the basis for my idea of starting the Bookish Club - first meeting last night went very well and time will tell if things will pan out how I hope - maybe I will fall at the first hurdle but at least I tried!

We shouldn't wish life away.

We should also maybe take stock of what is important to us - we do so much because we feel we should - how about do it just because.

The older I get the more I realise that money is not the main thing - time is the most valuable thing. If you have time you can do what you want and doesn't the saying go the best things in life are free? With more money generally comes more stress, just so we can compete more and buy more 'stuff'. I prefer to go out with my camera and just be!

Thursday, 1 March 2012

My head is about to go POP!



Pictures like this blow my mind.
It makes me marvel at the absolute wonder of nature.
It makes me want to pack my bags and just travel around looking at things for the rest of my life.
It also makes me think about how insignificant we are.
That tiny little speck on top of that rock is insignificant in the grand scheme of things but that tiny little speck has also blown at least one persons mind!

We all change with just a blow of the wind



We should change.
It's a beautiful thing.
Sometimes we don't change together, but that's life.
Be flexible to this change.
Embrace it.
And grow.
Without change we never evolve, we wouldn't learn anything and we would just stagnate.
Life is too beautiful to stay rooted in one time to one place.

World Book Day



And I would love my own library or at the least my own reading room.
For world book day I am reading A Lakota History - The Journey of Crazy Horse.
Tonight I will be hosting my first Bookish Club.
I hadn't realised it was World book day when I set the date so I hope it's a good omen!

Supersize v's superskinny

I watched a show on TV last night called Super sized v’s super skinny.
The concept of the show is just down right wrong.
You take a clearly really obese person (who generally knows something needs to change) and you take a clearly way too skinny person (who generally denies they have issues) and you put them together.
Now the skinny person is hardly going to be encouraged to eat when they are faced with an over eater of quite mammoth proportions.
The skinny person is given the generally bad diet of the supersized person and vice versa.
Neither are healthy diets.
Neither have healthy attitudes towards food.
Both need help.



I’m not sure they are being given the right help.
It’s ok to eat not overtly healthy once in a while but more importantly it’s not always necessarily what we eat it is the portion control we seem to have no control over.
We don’t have a biscuit – we have a packet.
We don’t share a take out – we order one each.
We don’t share cake we buy a whole cake.
And don’t even get me started on the fast food menus and portions out there.
Some of the eating habits on last nights show were hideous.
It’s so sad that people are being so under educated or care so little about themselves.
Either end of the spectrum is a true concern. The skinny end will get more attention and sympathy whereas the fatter end of the spectrum will get laughed at and told to stop eating but we have to remember in both cases it is deep rooted psychological issues that are normally at play.
Again highlighting my case for better life education and way better parenting skills.
Also highlighting the danger that is the media that we all buy into.

Ladies and gents – please eat but eat sensible, don’t be scared to see a psychologist or counsellor and don’t starve yourself to fit into those skinny jeans.
More men are developing eating disorders – could this be down to the rise in men’s health magazine’s? Just like the beauty myth with women……….
We need to develop healthier body issues – healthier images to feed to our children.
We need to stop saying it’s the norm’ or ok for a fully grown woman to have the body of a adolescent boy.
No man I know actually likes skin and bone on a lady – they all prefer curves and someone that isn’t afraid to eat rather just pick at their food. You will have more energy as well and your moods will be better.
This works both ways, if you gorge on high sugar foods you will also have the extreme crashes that leave you unable to do things. Once your weight gets too high you will find everyday tasks a thing of the past and become a prisoner in your own skin.
These are serious concerns.
More and more women around me seem to have thighs smaller or as small as their calves, it’s not right for 99% of them.
I wonder if this is why there is an increase in complicated births and the amount of women suffering polycystic ovaries?

http://helpguide.org/mental/binge_eating_disorder.htm
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Eating-disorders/Pages/Introduction.aspx
http://www.mind.org.uk/help/diagnoses_and_conditions/body_dysmorphic_disorder

It's not my fault



Sometimes you are in a bad mood just because.
Sometimes you are just a miserable git fullstop.
Sometimes you've just had the world as you know it turn upside down.

On the outside people might just see you as a miserable git, or a bit moody - they might be really unforgiveable of your sour mood.

But for all you know that person may have just lost a loved one, may have just been given the most devasting news ever.

We don't seem to be very forgiving these days, but sometimes it might be worth taking a second to ask someone if they are ok rather than just jumping to conclusions.

Fly fly away



I want it.
Yet another bit of jewellery.
But the message is so lovely.
It's like messages in a bottle or notes tied to a balloon, there is something so sweet and romantic about someone obscure finding it.
When I next go to the seaside I am going to put a message in a bottle and an email address and see what happens.