Yesterday marked the 17th year anniversary of Richie James Edwards going missing.
Presumed dead? I think so.
But that’s the thing – if he’s not what a piglet for not getting in touch with his family or someone that knows him not getting in touch with his family.
I don’t know if his Mom still does this but up until a few years ago – she kept going to his flat on the Cardiff front and turning on the lights so that if he came home his flat would feel welcoming. That there breaks my heart more than anything else.
I heard about hard core fans overseas knowing about his self harming and buying him a set of knives asking him to think of them as he cut himself. How utterly horrible for the man.
The biggest thing that hit me about this was 17 years!!! How old did that make me feel. How much life has changed in those 17 years!
It also made me realise that this April it will be 18 years since Kurt said bye bye to us all.
I am of an age where I know exactly where I was when the news broke in the UK about Kurt. (I was in my room with my then boyfriend, my Mom came running up the stairs and announced the man I had a picture of on my wall was on the news….suicide, my response was ‘did it work?’ she nodded – then the phone rang and it was my older brother, he didn’t normally give two hoots about such things but said this felt weird…..and so a generation mourned.)
Back then there was no internet.
I bet most of you can’t even imagine that.
As much as I love the internet and I love blogs and social networking sites I do look at the youth today and think hmmm we are breading a rather narcissistic group of kids that photograph everything – that don’t appear to live in the moment for anything anymore.
A lot of us don’t truly become ourselves until we leave home and we sort of shed our skin and leave the past behind – but when it’s all been documented photo by photo online for the world to see you no longer have that luxury. So you might be able to delete your blog but someone will remember, someone will have cached it. Somewhere my most important childhood memories are stored – thankfully with very little photographic evidence at the awful fashion I was forced to wear etc etc etc. It’s like we’re breading this narcissistic group of people that totally overshare on the internet but have little skills with social interaction in the real world – to me that is not advancement.
Weirdly as well with the internet meaning things can be in your home in seconds – you don’t have to wait for the hard product to hit the highstreet stores and then find the time to get to them to buy the item – with a few clicks of a button it will be brought to your very door or instantaneously through your headphones. You’d think music and media sales would be up – but it seems only computer games are flying high still.
A part of me feels like introducing my blog as ‘This is not a fashion blog.’ There are some amazing one’s out there but am I the only one really bored of seeing way too young teens taking photographs of themselves in every single item of clothing they wear and posing in not altogether suitable ways for the whole world to see – paedophiles and all!?!?
I miss some of the anonymity my childhood had. I do love how you can reach out to people all over the world and have certainly made some amazing friends that I would never have meet, or I assume I would never have met if it hadn’t been for the interwebs.
I also miss all the lovely handwritten letters I used to send and receive.
Thing is when I was a kid there was no cyber bullying. There were no online creeps grooming children. Shit still happened believe me, and some of it not known about but I know in my little town if someone was being weird – he…or she would get the shit kicked out of them or they would be moved on. Maybe not the most correct way to go about things but it was there for all to see. Now it feels more sly – way more underground.
The internet gives you freedom but sadly that is also abused. I for one don’t think I would let my child have a computer in their bedroom – you know – teens are very susceptible to flattery, I can see how they can fall for the charms of a class A loser.
Kurt and Richie were two very hounded but two very lonely characters. Maybe the internet helps such individuals – maybe it makes it worse.
Either way – hasn’t the world changed in 18 years – sadly with all the wars and things you hear about going on and the level of disrespect on the streets these days it is very hard to say if it’s been changed for the better or not. Time will tell I guess.
Anyway – enough of my ranting and musing – I’m off to listen to Smells Like Teen Spirit.