Friday, 4 November 2011

Some days just suck

A friend of mine thinks the devil looks after his own. That if you are a little shit you seem to get everything go right for you.

I hate to buy into this.

What morals or standards of living or hope does this give us?

Why should those that do little get the rewards?


If that was the case why aren’t we all out there now being little arseholes and robbing banks?


Why do I sit and see that it appears to be true? So many that win the lottery are little rat bags.


So many that seem to land on their feet actually trample everyone that gets in their way.

Why is it those with the talent get pushed to the wayside for those that have the contacts?


Some days it’s really hard to breathe and not just get choked by all this negativity.

I refuse to give up.

I refuse to get bitter.

I’m having one of those days where you just want to say ‘Fuck it’ pack your bags and run with no agenda and on destination, just run until your little legs give out.


I refuse though.


I don’t know if that makes me smart or just outrageously stubborn.


I refuse to give up hope. I refuse to buy into being a little shit. I want to believe that what you put out there is what you get back. I want to believe that good things come to those who wait. I want to believe that if you work hard you will get rewarded for your efforts. I want to believe in something other than money and celebrity. I want to believe that anything is possible for anyone.


I want to believe that I won’t have to live in the joke flat forever.

I want to believe that I won’t have to starve as I get to old age.

I want to believe that those of us that have good morals will be rewarded.

I want to believe in the future.

I want to believe that there is love like Carl and Ellie’s.

I want to believe that things will be ok.

I want to believe that the good guys win.

I want to believe that someone is listening.

I want to believe that the good times are just around the corner.

I want to believe in myself and my ability to pull through.

I want to believe in this world and the people in it.

I want to believe above all that my friend is wrong about the devil looking after his own.

I want to believe that the answers can be found at the bottom of the ice cream tub or at the bottom of a bowl of cheesy mash potato.

I want to believe that this won’t go on forever.

I want to believe that all I aspire to is within my grasp.

I want to believe that I am not wasting my time, that we are all not wasting our time.

I want to believe that music really does save.

I want to believe that if I keep on going that things will pick up.

I want to believe that dreams come true.

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