Monday, 11 April 2011

“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.”

You know that when we look in the mirror none of us see what we actually look like don’t you? You know that a huge percentage of us actually see something that is better than what we are… find a lot of them out on Friday and Saturday nights with the confidence of I don’t know what…….but that also means there are a huge percentage of us that don’t realise how lovely we look.
More importantly wouldn’t it be great if we could have an internal mirror – ewww yeah not pretty but I mean more about being pretty on the inside.

I hate seeing the people that I feel should be confident being all down on themselves. So many good people don’t seem to feel worth it. But maybe that is why they are good people? Yeah that sounds weird I know but think about it…….when someone pretty knows it they can become extremely ugly.

When someone tries (in vain) to keep themselves looking young they become obsessive, boring and quite frankly don’t look young they just look a little bit odd.

I think though, it’s safe to say that we all forget that we age. I have no problem with my age and find that with age I am learning so much more about myself – not necessarily feeling better or more confident with myself but I am learning so much, understanding so much more…….but it seems that other people have a problem with my age and constantly think I am up to 9 years younger than I actually am. It’s not always a boost to the ego though when you confidently correct them on your age only to have their jaws hit the floor and the response being ‘oh my god you’re how old!??!?!’ or ‘Well, why don’t you own your own home or have a kid by now then?’ because you know the only reason to have a child is because you are running out of time, and yes please do note my really heavy sarcasm there.

We are all so quick to judge, so quick to put people in boxes and label them up. To feel fearful of people that we can’t put into boxes, instead of celebrating their individuality. It’s weird that some of the more interesting people to look at are quite often the shy ones or the people with low self esteem, they don’t want to blend in. I fear a clothes rail with 50 of the same item on it, I mean seriously who wants to go out looking like they were created in a factory with 50 others.

I’ve never liked what I look like. I’ve never thought ‘Hey looking good’ when I’ve looked in the mirror. I’ve lost a lot of sleep over this in my youth and have my off days still but am realising more and more it’s about who I am not what I am.

Let’s say that again WHO I am NOT WHAT I am.

So don’t frown on the person that works at the checkout – they could be producing the next amazing movie outside of work hours. Sometimes the economy just forces you to have to grab any job as well.

I see work as something that I do to be able to be me. I like my job – it’s a really interesting company, but it’s not all I am about, it doesn’t define who I am but not many people know that.

I am so bored of the hustle of a city and long for the quiet country life again. My brother always said I was a country girl at heart, but boy I had to escape that in my teens for my own sanity. I don’t need that anymore though. I want people to say hello and know me when they walk past me, I don’t want everyone to be scowling or just walk past awkwardly looking anywhere and everywhere but at you heaven forbid you make eye contact.

I spent a few days at the coast last weekend and it was so easy to spot the locals and the tourist. The locals said hello and made light chit chat. The tourists rushed past making no eye contact or looking at you really awkwardly before running off or thought you were going to ask them for something if you so much as smiled in their direction.

The key to happiness is simple and humans have complicated it so much.

I am sick of being judged by my job title and by my salary. Those things should not really matter.
It’s true on the flip side that if you have loads of money people think life must be easy… some ways it could be harder………all those people to impress, faces to keep up, knowing who to trust………………remember we all got along just fine before money was invented, most of the troubles started once it was.
Just because you have £1 million in the bank does not make you better than me. Just as it doesn’t make you worse than me.

Just because something bad happened to you today does not mean that tomorrow won’t be different nor does it mean you have the right to take that mood out on everyone else.
Just because your band didn’t make it and someone else’s did does not for one minute mean their band is better.

The world works in weird ways – don’t waste time trying to fit some mould the media have created for you – don’t waste time being unhappy doing the things you think you should or are expected of you.
Spend the time doing what you love. If that means it’s only for an hour a day because you are having to work a job that you don’t love to get the freedom for that hour – relish that hour – don’t hate the other hours of your life – understand that you have a purpose and keep working towards your goal.
No one is perfect and god wouldn’t life be boring if it was.
You might hate celebrities because their life seems so easy. So they don’t have to work regular hours and can afford pretty much anything they want but don’t mistake that for happiness. Many people that chase fame are terribly insecure. Everyone has tough times in life, money doesn’t actually change that – or what you deem important changes. Even the best job in the world has a part of you like less and that will become the thing that keeps you awake on a Sunday night.

Don’t judge others too quickly just because they don’t have some high flying job and please don’t see success as being famous. There are some amazing people out there doing some of the best stuff ever but you don’t even know their name!

Don’t judge someone just because they don’t look the way the media tells you they should – just remember the one thing you can’t do too much about is the face you were born with unless you are going to tamper with lots of surgery – then it’s not really you anyway, it’s the person you are that is important. This world will always be focussed on that initial attraction to what someone looks like but please take the time to look deeper and hope that people will do the same to you.

And make sure there is something to look deeper too – don’t just make yourself all about your looks or your job and don’t dismiss someone just because they are shy. I’ve had people write me off for seeming hard to approach – I’m super friendly – I just have low self esteem and am scared I am being judged. People assume I shouldn’t have low self esteem so treat me as though I am super confident – they don’t understand that it cripples me to walk into a room of people – but I keep doing it – I think it’s important to keep testing yourself and to keep pushing yourself.

You can stand still for years but your feet will never grow roots….there is a reason for that. Keep yourself evolving – keep yourself changing and growing – be kind to others and don’t be so quick to judge. Don’t fill your life with bad people or weak friends just for the sake of appearing popular and above all be true to yourself.

“Only after the last tree has been cut down.

Only after the last river has been poisoned.

Only after the last fish has been caught.

Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten.”

“By plucking her petals, you do not gather the beauty of the flower.” Rabindrath Tagore

“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” ~Kahlil Gibran

“That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful.” ~Ninon de L'Enclos

“Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty - they merely move it from their faces into their hearts.” ~Martin Buxbaum