Tuesday, 29 June 2010

So then?

When you pass the age of your early 20's is it really hard to meet new people?

A common thread I am hearing from people over the age of 25 (more amongst girls to be honest) is how they don't feel they have much in common with their childhood friends, or have lost touch with them since Uni.  Some that have travelled to London from another country for the experience say the friends they make over here are actually more 'them' than their friends back home.

People that become single in their 30's seem to have a much harder time meeting new people, or that new potential partner or are expected to get married two seconds after going on their first date - as though you should just know who is right for you at that age - like we ever stop doubting everything about our lives at times.

So do people become more closed or more suspicious?  Do people get settled into a routine that they are too scared to change no matter how unhappy they might be?

A friend said the other day she met someone who said he didn't need anymore friends.  It's kindof a weird comment - it hit me that they could be closed off to many new experiences.

More advertisements are being placed for people over 50 wanting to do houseshares (due to divorce etc).

More articles are appearing in the media about the lonely nation.

When we were tiny little children we whould just swap a toy with someone and they would become our best friends for a while.  We'd just go and knock on someone's door and ask if such and such was coming out to play - friendship formed.

As you get older the friendships seem to run deeper, mean more, be even more imporant yet somehow they seem harder to find and to maintain.  Too many friends and you become a bit flakey or inaccessible to all.  Too little friends and you'll spend too much time alone or become too dependent on your more outgoing friends.

When did it all become so complicated?  When were there suddenly rules and ideals and insecurities and paranoias?  When did we get scared to stop a friendship when it pissed us off or we outgrew it?  Friendships shift.  Especially for girls (quite often due to having children) but it doesn't seem to be spoken about very often.

Life will inevitably happen in a different way and at a different rate to others.  We've all felt lonely or misunderstood sometimes yet we tend not to talk about it.  People compete about the number of friends they have - but when did it become more about quantity over quality?

If you realise you haven't been true to yourself why is it suddenly so hard to change direction, and meet people more like the 'you' that you've become?

If anyone has the answers or the thoughts on how difficult adult friendships can be please let me know!  It seems to be hot topic at the moment.

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