Wednesday, 31 March 2010

It's almost time for the bunny rabbit

So this week has been a wash out - well and truely - most mornings the sun hints at being all bold and shiny and bright but alas by lunch time it's gone shy again. Parts of the country are covered in snow again - ewww - what is that about.

On a plus - this week and next is a 4 day week - woo hoo - time to kick back, see the family, eat chocolate and hide from the bad weather.

I also just got tickets through to go and be part of the audience for Friday Night with Jonathan Ross - let's hope he has a super amazing fun filled show that week!?!

I found a new favorite film this week and another that made me laugh - 500 days of Summer (although at times I really thought it was 500 days of Alison - but only when she is nice you hear me). This lead me to check out the band She & Him and I love love love.

So - the film. It's not a love story - it sounds like it might be but it's not. It's quirky. Funny. Painful. Real. Mean. Sometimes down right lovely. It was a bit scary for me as not only do I have the same hair as the main character and very similar style - she also did some things that I do - and just as I was starting to get a little freaked out in comes a new character called Alison!?! It's not so romantic that a boy won't be able to get something from the film - you should go watch it - it's fabba!!!!! (as my friend Sophie B would say).

(see look at this poster - told you it was really 500 day of alison)
The other film is called A Serious Man and boy oh boy does this poor man just keep getting kicked when he's down - it's very dark but funny - it's not laugh out loud wet your pants laughing but you keep smirking and nodding in agreement as the crap this poor mans life keeps dealing up for him and just as you think things might work in his favor and he's the good guy that is finally going to get the breaks -uh oh - big fat no it all goes so terribly terribly wrong with such a tragic ending hinted at you can't help but laugh.

Sunday, 28 March 2010

I put on my best Sunday dress.......

I've just had an over the top bubble bath - loads of bubbles and scents galore - and I love it. Something so simple and takes up barely no time in my day but it makes me feel happy. Funny, I never used to think I had the time for such things but realistically there are the same hours in the day that I have always had, I just chose to use those hours differently. Usually recovering from a hangover, getting ready to go out or actually being out. No proper chill time - I think I used to underestimate it - but not anymore.

It's funny how we spend so much time making excuses to not do the things that make us happy. Why is that? Do we not feel worthy? Are we brought up in the wrong fashion and encouraged to work hard at the things we are not so good at so technically filling our time with things that we don't particularly enjoy as it's rare we love to do something we are not good at. I think we might feel we're not good at some things but ask people around you and you can quite often get a different answer.

Last week I found a bargain book for 25pence. It's called 'High Energy Habits by Bill Ford'. As it was only 25pence I didn't really care for how good it was going to be but thought I might find a hidden gem or two inside. One of the tasks that is set is to find your strengths and weaknesses. Now I am not very good at finding my strengths but can reel off a tonne of real or quite possibly imagined weaknesses. Three friends completed this task for me and quite honestly I was blown away by how they viewed me. Each 3 has a different way of living and different personality but their answers were suprisingly similar and man did their replies make me feel good. It's not all about ego but a wonderful spring board to help keep me focussed and moving forward.

I am slowly taking time out to work out what I enjoy, what makes me feel good and the results are physically showing me I am actually a pretty decent person - who'd have thunk it ay!?!!

I've spent the weekend with D as he's been away a few nights this week and because it's our 3 year anniversary. Nothing really went to plan but I'm not so uptight these days so have just rolled with the day and it's been nothing but lovely. I gave up some control and it's turned out better than I thought.

There are so many lessons in there for me, it's somewhat refreshing to realise I don't have to have tight control on everything for things to go ok and I don't have to have everything perfectly planned out for it to go ok. I didn't even realise I fell victim to this so much.

A friend just text me, she's been alone with her troubles and feels like poop. So I just highlighted how she should do something she really loves even if she's not in the mood for it as within a few minutes she'll be so absorbed she'll have had a break from her troubles and will have done something no doubt creative - win win all round. Sometimes you have to take yourself out of yourself to really see where you should be heading.

I have sat and panicked about the number of friends I have and what I do with my time - and it's all me judging myself against others - but what works for them doesn't necessarily mean it will work for me and these differences is what makes the world a beautiful place - otherwise we'd all be doing the same thing at the same time and things would become a bit gridlocked. Now I am slowing myself down - I have a whole lifetime to achieve my goals yet I seem to be racing towards the finish line for some reason - how foolish of me - think of all the things I will miss experiencing and all the lessons I won't get to learn and all the things I won't get to see. I feel I should be doing this that or the other instead and it's all based on what I used to do, well now, wouldn't it be sad if I hadn't grown, if I hadn't changed and how sad to be hankering after days gone by when there is a whole new world each day to explore.

I don't even know where I am heading with this - but I am going to make that part of the fun rather than something to dread.

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

I just don't believe it!

I refuse to believe that every man would cheat if he thought he would get away with it - I think it's an insulting statement rather than me being niave.
It's not just men that cheat either I know that women do as well.

All in all I think it's a lowly thing to do - especially when children are involved.

I know that there are 'circumstances' to be considered but how hard is it to say well actually I realise that I want to bang other people so I think there must be a problem with us - and at least try to talk it through first - or leave!!! I've seen so many people's lives wrecked by someone cheating and not thinking through the consequences. We hear so often how deeply sorry said person was/is.....yeah, sorry you got caught if you were that sorry you'd never have done it!

Am I being hard? Or harsh? Oh well.

This has of course been brought about by Sandra Bullock (who seems like such a lovely lady) and her husbands latest revelations. And that woman he had a year long affair with - what a .......!?! I am so for sisterhood - respect your fellow women and don't do the dirty on them - I have zero respect for women that go after unavailable men and I have zero respect for men that say they were a) drunk (if you were that drunk honey you wouldn't be able to get it up) or b) since my baby was born she's been neglecting me (yes because there is a baby in the house that needs 24 hour attention you are meant to be an adult). Lame excuses. But when you look at the world of fame - so many successful women seem to find themselves in this situation - are men really that afraid of a successful woman? Is it not nice to have ambition and drive? It really does confuse me.

But then I try to live in a world where I don't do to someone what I wouldn't want done to me - and when I close my eyes the world sparkles and shines and we all treat each other with respect. It's a nice place, more people should try it out.

Monday, 22 March 2010

Spring finally Sprung - for a day at least..........

There were many more pictures but for some reason I can't upload them - D took the close up flower shots but the rest were taken by me. It's amazing how a little bit of sunshine and blue skies can make you feel so much more alive.

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

So what goes into that burger these days?

I believe in making informed decisions - not going with the flow - not just doing things or saying things to try to be shocking with no substance behind my argument and above all I believe in allowing an individual their choice without preaching. Especially when the only thing I can preach with is a lame argument.

Vegetarianism has been frowned on by many - quite often because people don't understand it. I don't believe I have a right to tell someone they can't eat meat - because they can - but do they understand what is really going into it?

There's also the issue that could you kill and cook your own food - if it's OK to eat meat then surely you should be able to? Do you understand the difference between the hunter gatherers diet and going to the local supermarket to buy your meat? There is an argument about the conditions animals are kept in today and there is also an argument for what is put into the animals that are consumed today and some people fail to realise this.

Not everyone can afford to eat organic. Not everyone has a caring bone in their body. BUT I do believe that there are some things people should know about the meat industry of today and the way meat was eaten by our ancestors.

There's a story by Luther Standing Bear, you can probably guess from the name that he was a Native American Indian that lived in 'their times' and also in the times of the 'white man'. The Native American Indians would hunt for the food they required - they would eat well, using the whole animal from everything from food through to clothing through to weapons and homes. Nothing was wasted. Only what they needed was taken and a great respect was held for the animal. Then white man came along and started to slaughter all the buffalo they could and for the first time ever there was suddenly a shortage of buffalo. White man offered the Native American something they called a Spotted Buffalo - you and I might know this as a cow. When they first saw this animal (that had been transported for many hours in cramped conditions and had been reared in cramp conditions), they could not believe the overwhelming stench and were even more shocked when they realised it was coming from the animal that was meant to be a form of food. Luther Standing Bear remembers looking at the Indians with their full heads of hair and health and looked at the white man - they were all bald or balding. It made him think of the bald headed eagle that fed off made him wonder about the quality of the meat that the white man was consuming. In the day of the Native American Indian there was no such thing as anaemia. Most women today suffer from this - quite often without even realising it.

Meat is very fattening. In the day of the hunter gatherer, they would go out on a hunt that meant they had to be physically very fit and getting the food took a lot of energy and burnt up a lot of calories - people didn't carry all the excess weight they do today. The modern world is becoming obese. A lot of this is down to the lack of physical exercise and the diet we have. No hunting, little games and a lot of low grade meat.

I personally think if someone is going to eat meat it is their decision, but they should buy the best quality meat they really can.....and everyone should give a shit about the other things that are on this planet that all contribute to the world in one way or another.

Lets take beef in America - did you realise just how much fresh water is consumed to make that burger? Or how much rain forest is destroyed for grazing land for that burger? You might not care about nature but the rain forest is absolutely fundamental to the ways of the world, you know a little thing called oxygen for a start off. You can't really dispute the effects of meat eating today on the environment when even scientists are asking people to go meat free at least once a week. Many rises in cancer have been linked to the consumption of meat in the modern age - these sorts of things I found very hard to ignore. In fact it seemed ignorant to ignore. Heart disease is the number one killer of women in the US - not breast cancer - but heart disease caused by blocked arteries - meat is very high in saturated fats which will clog you arteries and cause high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Apparently a low fat plant based diet would cut an individuals risk of heart disease by 85%

Most meat we eat today is full of antibiotics. The animals can be fed dead animals and any disease they have when they are killed for consumption - you will end up digesting. Not only that - humans are starting to become immune to antibiotics because of how much is being given to animals we consume - just think about that for one moment - imagine a world where antibiotics no longer worked. Meat is full of hormones. Excess hormones have been linked to many cancers. We don't need to consume extra hormones - so they do nothing but bad for us - in fact the health issues I have had over the last few years have been heavily linked to the hormones in meat.

There's another fact that interested me - a carnivores intestines are 6 feet long, meat is not meant to sit in your gut as it starts to rot - we have intestines that are 20 feet long it takes 3 days for meat to pass through our system - that's like allowing a steak to sit out in the sun for 3 days and then eating it - you just wouldn't - would you?

Did you know that Einstein was a vegetarian. He's not known for being stupid.

There is then the whole environmental effect that today's meat consumption is having on the environment - for humors sake lets take cows. The poo from them and the fertilisers used today soak into the land which can also reach water tables - which leads to our consumption of such waste. 42% of the fresh water used in the USA is used for agriculture. Apparently it takes 441 gallons of water to produce 1 pound of beef. It takes 11 times more energy to produce animal protein to grain protein. Cows ruin the top soil of land which takes millions of years to produce and is vital for growing plants - which will feed the cows as well as us. And cow's farts - they produce SO much and it's all bad for the environment.

(Thank you to the Kind Diet for the actual figures). One thing else of interest in this book - there was an American called T Colin Campbell who had grown up on a dairy farm and was doing research into how to make the bigger bestest cows and pigs for us to eat. But the research had some interesting developments. He emerged a strict vegan not just vegetarian but vegan due to his findings.

I could go on but I don't want to go overboard - I think there is enough information here for you to start to do your own research just a little bit.....and then make your own decisions but at least make those decisions based on a bit of research not just following a trend.

Take a look at this argument

I think people are a bit oblivious to the environmental/health and emotional effects the meat industry of today has on us and our planet - at least be informed about what you are doing. Remember: "Teach your children what we have taught ours, that the earth is our mother. Whatever befalls the earth befalls the sons of the earth. The earth does not belong to man; man belongs to the earth. Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it. We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children."


is a new day - as is each day and I keep trying to be really grateful for that and realise that no matter what happens each new day is like a new start....or it can be if you want it to be.

I understood two words more fully whilst day dreaming on my way to work. One is the word 'local' it has this weird sense of belonging attached to it - and there's some comfort to that in this day and age - where you don't really know your neighbours or wouldn't really know if the old lady down the road hasn't collected her milk for the last 5 days. So I like the word local.

The other word is 'Respect'. For oneself and for other people......without it you have a big human flaw that you don't need to hold onto. Above all I try to behave in a way that I feel that I have respected myself. Each night I go to bed knowing that I haven't treated anyone really badly or done anyone wrong - or certainly not intentionally - I can put my head on the pillow with a clean conscience. And that to me is Success.

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

It's pink on the outside and teary in the middle

So here's the thing......I am scared of the telephone, but a part of me really wants it to ring. I love being around people but secretly am really frightened on the inside. I want quiet but at the same time I need the noise. You get the idea of the contradictions? It begs the question 'Am I normal?', which then begs the answer 'Define normal!'.

Once upon a time I would spend hours talking to friends on the phone. I would be sad if the phone rang and it wasn't for me. Rightly or wrongly, I'd talk to anyone. Could hold my own on most conversations and was always up for going out.

So, what happened? I went through an abusive relationship with someone that would ridicule my conversation. Would talk over me on the phone to others, would interupt and generally belittle me until I hung up the phone. It turned it into a phobia. Said idiot is long gone but the phobia kindof lingers. I got ill and stopped going out - not because I wanted to stay in but because I was too sick to go out. I felt like a failure and a let down and a bad friend. Despite being told that I was fun to be around and not a bad friend, I still beat myself up to the point it's hard to be in social situations. I have never had time alone before in my life - there's always been family or friends with me, I used to hate it but the truth is I quite like it these days - but only now and then. My biggest fear is not having enough to say - or not having fun things to say. My best friend bought me a book for a get well present and inside was a Little Miss Chatterbox bookmark, and it would appear that this is how the majority of the world would view me, apart from the person that looks back at me from the mirror. So, these issues all have reasons behind them but ultimately it's my job to change them and to work on them. So why do I find it so hard? Evidence is that I am a nice person, who is funny, a bit quirky, has an opinion and is relatively very chatty. So, why do I see it so differently? Why do I allow one or two stupid people or silly incidences to rule over all the other evidence around me and the opinions of people I actually care about?

Now, if I knew the answer to that I would probably be a very rich lady as I know I am not alone in the doubts and fears that I have. I just choose to not hide them so much anymore or to air them in public now and then.

I started a lovely job but ran into someone that would complain about me left, right and centre. I'd never come across this before. I start a job, make friends, do my job well and then leave - that's the pattern I've always had before. So, what was different? Insecurity! From said person and me. I've done what I can but I think the damage has been done for me and this job being that socialable - I keep everyone at arms length due to the confusion this one person caused me when I first started.

As has been said before - there was a person recently in my life that painted me out to be this person I was not. I don't normally have fall outs and am not normally disliked - and I don't mean that in an egotistical way - it's not that everyone usually loves me but I'm a decent person and that shows. So what was it that suddenly someone was out to get me. Jealousy, insecurity and not being able to label me is pretty much what did that. So I've kept them at arms length and things haven't been so bad. Hence why I tried the same tactic at work. Here lies the problem. I let someone else make me question myself and then tried to justify and explain someone else's lies. That just cannot be done. I was insecure and got a bit paranoid whilst so ill for so long - I need to let that go and stop beating myself up for it - I think it's understandable after what I have been through. My doctor even asked me what my secret was to how well I have handled it all - I hadn't realised I had been handling it so well - so that just goes to show again.

The ultimate realisation is when you are a decent person some people feel threatened. When you are not afraid to be a girl and have a voice - some people can't deal with it. That's their bad. Let them get on with it. It's easy to say rise above but it's not always so easy to do. I do firmly believe that whatever happens to us gives us the chance to grow as a person and I guess that is what I should focus on. I should not let anyone tell me how I should be just because they don't understand me or feel threatened by me. I should never let someone make me doubt myself. And I should not judge a group of people by one bad apple.

It's been quite a path to get to this point......but I think I may have made it. I still have no clue how to tackle the social issues I have but I hope that with time and with good friends only in my life - I might just make it. I guess I just need to make peace with myself and if anyone misunderstands me - their loss, or something like that. I am me. It's not perfect. I have my insecurities but I'm not bad. In the words of Johnny Depp "People do themselves a great disservice by not allowing themselves to see who they really are because they are afraid."

Monday, 15 March 2010

How gorgeous is all that and how happy do you feel when you can feel the sun on your skin - protected by sun screen of course.

It's been a long winter in the UK and the sun is out today and has been present for much of the weekend and it's amazing how much happier people seem and how much nicer the world appears - just for this little ball of flames.

Which incidentally leads me on to my tv viewing on Sunday
"Wonders Of The Solar System (BBC2, 9pm) Professor Brian Cox" The title kind of gives it away as to what this programme is about but if you get to watch it - then do! It's mind blowing. These sorts of things can appear geeky but in that geeky cool way - it's so interesting to try to understand how 'all this' was put together. And to realise how ever many billions of years ago - all the matter that was needed to create the world today was there. Which made me think hmm so I wasn't just a twinkle in my daddy's eye after all - billions of years ago it was decided that I was going to be here......why not the sperm next to me? It sends me off on tangents and is such thought provoking information. From quite a small age the wonder of the universe have fascinated me and puzzled me and given me the biggest brain ache ever. I don't get it and I am sure I never will but I will continue to be fascinated by it all.

We need and want the Nellyphants

I wouldn't normally put such things here but this is an issue very dear to my heart.

Please visit this site and sign the petition to stop the ivory trade.

Thank you!

Sunday, 14 March 2010

Free museums rule!

I've added a couple of extra things to the list of stuff that makes me happy - one being making your own soup - I don't even think the outcome is that important - the smell is divine. The other is rotating doors....I spent a few minutes waiting for my friend SophieB yesterday and the swishing sound of the old wooden doors rotating was really soothing and it whiled away the minutes watching people getting stuck in them - amusement for free!

I spent the day going around the V&A museum - such a huge beautiful building with loads inside - one thing I didn't take pictures of was the history of Alice in Wonderland - I got too wrapped up in the different versions of the story - Alice in a rocket ship - Adolf in Blunderland (you can imagine) and um yeah the jewellery room - I started to take pictures and was kindly told to pack it in - I forgot there are jewels in there worth millions - I knew I wasn't going to plan a robbery but I guess the security didn't know this, shame as there was some serious bling in there.

I also bought a rather lovely book about the history of Biba called from A to Biba The Autobiography of Barbara Hulanicki - it must've been such an exciting time in the world of fashion - to be young and rich back then. We also found the cutest tea shop with lovely chandeliers where I got complimented on my lovely hair accessories!!!
Said bling back in the day.

As worn in Swan Lake.

Sophie contemplating......something.

It was so tempting to just run and jump on this bed!

Evening entertainment anyone?

If only tickets were still this price!

The actual Adam Ant costume - go on who didn't put white tape across their nose when this video came on!

Flower fairies - original picture - inspired by...........

Beatrix Potter - I never knew!

Friday, 12 March 2010

Wandering and wondering

There are drinks after work today - I still haven't been out with the whole of work - is it bad that I probably won't be going to night either? I see people for chit chats at work but I don't really work within any team so I find it weird to go out on a social. Saying that I know that the only way to truely break the ice is to go - but I can be quite shy like that. As a group - I don't know them at all - some of the people here I just never see so you can't build a raport up like that. The people I see most often are not going tonight anyway - it's a dilemma I didn't think I'd find myself in. I used to love going out - anywhere - anytime - these days - nah I am such a home body, but I think it's made me quite shy.

I met a lovely actress today - it's not the first time but I commented on how elegant she is and my boss said that she has in built style - and I thought that was lovely. So you can do what you want with fashion - what you really need is in built style!

Speaking of style - I have another recommendation for fashion reads - The Meaning of Sunglasses by Hadley Freeman. It's broken down into an A - Z of fashion - but it's funny - and in places laugh out loud funny. It's a mini guide but it also takes the michael out of so many 'fashion beliefs', it's also very down to earth which is such a refreshing change in the world of fashion - every now and then it happens and when it does - embrace it!

Thursday, 11 March 2010

Curiouser and Curiouser

said Alison Wonderland - I think I should change my name - does anyone know how much it costs? Ms Wonderland would be a far more suitable surname for me I think. But before I continue with that I just have to take a moment to say that I think I broke many girls hearts yesterday when I announced that Corey Haim had died - so I just wanted to say RIP Corey and to share this little video with takes me right back to my youth and I still really want Nanook!

The other thing was I FINALLY got to go and see Alice in Wonderland. Some friends loved it. Some friends hated it. It was the first 3D showing I had seen and I really was not impressed with the glasses - I have no clue whose head they were made for but they were mahoosive and to top it off they reflect what is behind you into the lens - which was mildly off putting for sure so Mr or Mrs 3D spec makers - please get this sorted love Alison.

I absolutely loved the film - I thought Tim Burton has done it again - yes he has a very distinctive style which maybe some people are getting bored of I don't know but to me it was just brilliant so much so I don't seem to be able to pause to put any punctuation into this and breath! It looked great - the story was good enough to carry you along and was better than just repeating the tale that we all know so well. Yes, Johnny Depp does it again with finding a new character to get into. Helena Bonham Carter is genius as the nasty queen/red queen. Anne Hathaway seemed like a bizarre choice for a Tim Burton movie to me but she was really good. And Stephen Fry is just great full stop. This movie looks amazing and the story swings you along very contentedly. I loved it. I want the white queens castle and the cherry blossom filled garden NOW if you please.

Sunday, 7 March 2010

In my defence....

...I've had quite a bit of time on my hands this weekend to think and ponder - so I did.

I found that I was getting quite peeved with people going on and on about oh my gosh you just have to have these Mui Mui shoes and oh you don't have a Chanel clutch yet - heavens to betsy. Or, I love your dress - what label is it? The best I have yet to experience was in a job where people earned quite a bit of money - apart from the team I worked in - but we were friends - unlike the team that earned the money - funny that, anyway - I had on a lovely green wool mix coat - it reminded me of my great grandma..........I heard someone shout oh my god I love your coat - that is amazing - how much how much? I had the greatest pleasure in listening to them woffle on about how their designer coat looked so good now but they knew it would only do them one or two seasons and that it was like over £1,000 oh my.......all eyes turn to me as I elegantly stated 'Yeah a fiver, Camden market' I gave my sweetest smile and walked away as their jaws hit the floor - I knew they now wanted to hate the same coat they had just loved moments before.

Investment pieces? Right, well for one - we all change shape and size as we get older - or at least we should if we're not crash dieting and having surgery - so investment pieces would be kindof useless then right? Or they hang in a wardrobe not being touched or worn........but the thing is I get bored easily with my wardrobe.....I like different looks and fashion changes so frequently that, that in itself says it's kindof throw away. A lot of the catwalk shows have items too ridiculous to be on the high street or on most women but they are there to inspire........I've never been into labels..........I was given a Moschino coat once and I cut the label out as it itched my neck.........apparently this was terrible. Whatever. It's whether I like it or not that is important. Do I really want to spend my whole years clothing allowance on one item I will be too scared to wear - um Nope. It's not a case of can't afford it so I hate it all either. But I can't justify how it's OK to spend thousands and come home with one or two items when there are far more better causes out there.

The beauty myth is quite a heavy book to read but it does cover how women have been kept in place by this whole beauty myth - I won't say too much more about that as it could turn into a big rant but also you should read it and take from it what you will not what I tell you about it as it's my interpretation. Now men are also being kept in place a little by the same damn thing. It's a way to make money - plain and simple. If it makes you happy do it and all that but I am kindof fed up of people acting like every Tom, Dick and Harry can afford this and should do this and if they don't they are a very bad person and will never go to heaven or will be looked down upon for the rest of their lives.

I see people gutted that they forgot their £200 sunglasses were on the table in the cafe and walked out without one likes to lose or ruin things they like but when the average person has saved for ages for it - chances are it's going to piss them off for a lot longer........and these are not the things that we should really be spending our time worrying about.

So the rich people that can spend £100,000 or more at the drop of a hat - good on you - but something in me doesn't respect that too much. Some high end high street stores still have labels that say 'made in china' you hear what I am saying? So maybe designer isn't really exploiting the workers, but do I really need diamonds on the heels of my shoes? Even if I could buy 20 pairs without breaking a sweat or my heart missing a beat - just think about where those diamonds came from and what has happened to people to get to those diamonds......that would never sit well with my conscience. Now I am all for pretty things and I do like looking at these catwalk shows but I am realistic and I have morals. It's not about me lightening up or anything - I just hate how we are all being fed this need for things rather than experiences. How we are being made to think we should be living outside of our means. People almost bragging about spending hundreds of thousands because look how rich I am. Well, that don't make you a good person now does it. And no before anyone says I am not saying all rich people are bad people or anything like that - but I am saying that 'breed' of person who needs to have neon lights put around their overly indulgent purchases or life style.

Take it another step - we have a housing crisis but some individuals own 20 properties......something ain't right that we find this cool and the things to aspire to. I once worked with a group of kids that were going off the path of the legal people, a little lad - not yet a teen told me his career ambition was to be a hit man, I explained that it wasn't a job he was going to find in the paper and that it wasn't a legal living and he said yeah I don't care my uncle does it and he's loaded man, he's got a fancy car loads of diamonds.....I think I switched off for a second at this point and thought eeek look where so much of this is leading too. Jealously and the wrong ideals and morals.

Ah but who am I.........just a humble blog writer after all.

Thursday, 4 March 2010

Bye bye butterflies.

Well I hope they are not going anywhere but just saying the name makes me happy!!

I saw that Biology, Chemistry and Physics are being dropped in favour of subject called Science. Just think for one minute about the amount of paperwork, time and money this is going to take up. Just think of the confusion of course entry requirements for specific scientific subjects.

And what for? Honestly it’s ain’t the name of science programmes that is the problem with education today no siree.

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Tra la la

So BBC wants to save some dollar - so it looks at its radio stations and one of the ones it thinks to axe is called Radio 6 - some of you might have heard of it? I mean it's only one of the reasons many have bought digital radios for - and if the BBC wants to save money WTF have they seen how many re runs they have on these days and normally of absolute rubbish too! New music is being found and delivered to the ears of listeners through Radio 6 and these bands or individuals are a darn sight better than the rubbish that is getting produced through these 'talent' shows on TV.

A major factor of where the industry messed up was the ridiculous pay outs it gave to stars such as Robbie Williams - such big sums that the smaller bands were suffering. It only took said big star to not make as good a return as hoped for and bands were being axed left right and centre for no good reason. At the risk of being naughty here a lot of money gets blown on blow - quite frankly - have you met some of the big bosses....well I don't want to get rude but..........anyhow - these newer bands were being given big advances and not always fully understanding the terms - ok, so maybe that is their fault - this is business after all BUT BUT BUT if they went top ten in the charts when their previous album got to number 1 some were being dropped as not being good enough. Oh my, so it's perfection we're after - well when it's appealing to an individual on a multiple level how can it be 'perfect' and whose 'perfect' are we talking about here?

So - it costs £9m for Radio 6 to be out there for us all and £79m for 640 top management, I know where the cuts should be made - don't you!?!?!?

Top people who present the shows on BBC are being asked to take pay cuts - are the fat cats behind it all? I am not sure - but maybe it's really not enough? I mean no one in this country wants to pay the £140+ tv licence - so that has to say something about the standard of the things the BBC is picking - it shows it's not popular - so one of the few things they produce that is popular is BBC Radio 6 - so they are getting rid....and Friday night with Jonathan Ross - going - ah yes so next time they think of something - maybe they should do the opposite.

I used to get so excited about new music - always checking the new releases, spending hours pouring over records - I even had my own fanzine once upon a time - now? I am so out of touch it's embarassing.

So what's the answer? I dunno but it reall does seem to be do the opposite of what BBC bosses suggest and um musicians remember who put you where you are and don't go charging silly money for things like tour tickets - you hear me Madonna!!! To name but one.

Rant over - I am signing off.xx

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

I was so ill yesterday - shakes like you wouldn't believe - if I'd been holding a glass of milk it would've become milkshake in seconds.

There's a few things on my mind at the moment.

1. Isn't it nice to get sunshine - like SO nice - just to see sun and blue skies even if it's still cold - how amazing that sun feels on my skin after what seems like a really long time.

2. Someone said something to D about why he hadn't got a baby - and it's obvious because I've had a tumour in the way of a baby and I thought it was the lowest thing I have ever heard and I am normally not someone to bare a grudge but I'm finding it hard to let this one go........

3. I am already skint and have 4 weeks til my next pay day.

4. How to make my no money stretch.

5. Thinking about how much is on my doorstep in London and how I really need to do more and go to more exhibitions.

6. I am kick starting the exhibition thing with my friend SophieB....flower fairies and alice in wonderland - yeah!

7. I sorted out my wardrobe and am giving away 3 bags full of clothes - kindof sick in a way that I can give away so much - still be left with so much and still complain of nothing to wear.

8. I am still in love with my fringe and am beyond caring if that makes me sad.

9. This job makes me realise that I can't be bothered with small talk.

10. I think I'm starting to become OK with being me - but don't hold me to that one as I am sure by tomorrow I'll be crying into my tea about my face or something about me.

11. All this rain and sun and I still haven't been able to chase a rainbow.

12. I've had a million and one (slight exaggeration) presents to buy this month and this is why I am poor but I don't begrudge them.

13. I can't help giggle when people refer to someone as a little sausage as has just happened.

14. What's the secret to getting everything you need to get done in a day actually done and not added to the to do list?

15. How happy my friend Claire is with her birthday pressie from Jo and me - we fostered her a nellyphant.

16. I GOT MY TICKETS TO ALICE IN WONDERLAND...not that I am excited of course.