Sunday, 28 February 2010

A cup of tea and a slice of cake.

Well actually it's a cup of coffee and an apple but it's raining so I have to make do with what is in my little kitchen.

I've hardly slept yet I feel so wide awake. I was sat up with D until about 330am and for some reason was wide awake again at 7am. Probably something to do with living in a turret and it pouring with rain - the angles of the roof make for an interesting soundtrack - one that I find impossible to sleep through - scratch that - I find it pretty much impossible to sleep through anything but um silence!

I wanted to explore today - borrow D's camera and get some photographs around Covent Garden - I meant to do that when Marion came down - but I always end up having such a nice time I forget to take the snap shots.

Instead I lit some candles and got the old oil burning setting the scene for a nice warm glow in the house - when it's thundering down with rain outside it's always nice to be curled up by an open fire - failing that - a candle flame and some nice scents. It's still grizzly outside so I think todays exploration is off.

Instead I read a little more of the Goddess Experience - it's kindof weird (in a good way) - when I wrote about it on this here blog I had read all of 40 pages - but I knew it was going to be cooool. I knew it was going to be 'right up my street'. I was even inspired enough to get a notepad and start my own little journal of happy - my aim is just to get a book bursting with happy at the end - well, to be continued ay a book like that should never end - kindof my DIY FAKE GLAMOUROUS LIFE......or something. I had been writing about my lovely bath and the rose and berry scent infusion and was thinking about how I should really start to find the time to do more writing, I've been wanting to do a proper piece on Vivienne Westwood and Tim Burton for example, but time just hasn't been a friend of mine and as this blog has been suffering a little, my twitter account quite bone idle - blah blah blah but time just schwooshes past - but I grabbed onto some and let it take me for a ride - I ended up not doing anything I had planned but having a lovely evening. This morning I continued to read 'the book' and what do I read about but rose scents for the bath - Vivienne Westwood and time issues.....hmmm could be a casper the friendly ghost moment (ie spooky) or just goes to show there are other like minded people out there - and quite a few of them I think - woo hoo.

And I have just realised I am so girly I even eat pink apples.

Saturday, 27 February 2010

What makes you happy?

Isn't it a good question - it makes you stop and think for a moment and I am happy to report back that the majority of the things that make me happy are about experiences and not about materialistic things.

Maybe this is the worst kept secret ever - but I sometimes think someone should tell these 'celebrities' as quite frankly they are given all this 'stuff' can afford to do anything but all seem pretty unhappy.

I used to think I would love to be really rich to be able to have the freedom that richness would afford - but to get that rich I probably wouldn't have the freedom SO I try to make the most of 'my' time and do things to make me happy. Sometimes life throws shit at us all - I choose to grow roses from it. If life throws me lemons - I'll add vodka and raise my glass to a toast.

OK, sometimes I am a stroppy kid still and will scream and whine such little gems as 'why me?' and 'it's not fair'. And it's true - sometimes life just plain sucks but it doesn't mean you have to dwell on that part.

What makes me happy? Well, I keep adding to the list and it seems to keep on growing the more I think about it but......

Being by the sea
Hearing a small child laugh
Seeing people smile
Making people smile and heck when I make them laugh it postively makes me giddy
Helping someone
Having someone say thank you or excuse me
Cherry blossom
Petals falling off the trees
The sun on my skin

Making music no matter how badly I do it the creation is fun

Snowflakes especially on my tongue
Hearing a song from years ago
Baking a cake that comes out of the oven looking like a cake
Being inspired
Being inspiring
Making jewellery
Puppy dogs
Baby elephants
Chips at the seaside
Creating a whole new look
Lazy days
Tea in teapots
Sparkly things
Random acts of kindness
Finding a cool new hangout
My family
My friends
My boy

And I really do consider the good people in my life to almost be luxuries - I am so lucky to have them - I can survive without them - but I wouldn't want to!

Now all this tripped off my tongue without me having to particularly think. When it's put like this then damn there are things to make me happy everywhere - so there is little reason for me to be too sad.....and each time I am I will just go in search for a few of the things on my list.

Friday, 26 February 2010

The sky is blue but so are my hands

It's still freezing cold - or at least it is to me - the hint of a spring is in the air for there are the odd snowdrops peeping through garden walls, the hints of crocus pushing up the soil and once in a while I do believe there is that old ball of fire on show called the sun. But ultimately, it's still cold.

So I've been reading again.

And I am so kind I will share my discoveries.

The first one I mentioned before but now I have read it. Girl Power The Nineties Revolution in Music by Melissa Meltzer. This covers the whole Riot Grrrlm, foxcore, girl power music phenomenon. I was a bit of a foxcore fan - the phrase was made up by Thurston Moore but it was taken by the press and all rolled up into something pretty ugly that was just about loud angry lesbians. If this is all any of this meant to you then you missed out on a whole heap. Any woman with a voice is branded a feminist like it's a bad thing but we all know that the real true meaning to feminism is just women wanting to be valid human beings - and who on earth would want to say that they are not. Everyone is entitled to a voice end of. This era brought about some really good things but in typical fashion the media tried to shove too much into this box and make it mean too little. A lot of the bands featured were a catalogue to my youth - I was the red lipsticked plastic barrettes girl....but in an adult way - at 5' 10" I can't pretend to be a little girl even if I wanted to - which I never have - that is something I do not understand.

I thought I knew it all about foxcore etc but even I learnt a few things along the way. I learnt a lot more about how influential the Spice Girls have been - to me they were a bunch of girls with not much talent letting people have a bit of fun. Some disturbing facts come through the book - such as padded bras for 6 year olds - yeah thankfully enough people realised what a dumb f--k idea this was and removed them from sale. Tesco's launched a toy pole dancing set for small children including a garter belt and toy money to put in it. Like seriously? It's not even a funny joke but when you realise it's true - well people should be sacked over such huge errors of judgement. The whole book is well written - it's under 200 pages so you can digest the information quickly and research the bits you are really interested in more thoroughly in your own time.

The next find is by Gisele Scanlan author of the Goddess Experience - I got the Goddess Guide first. It is full of a cut and paste doodling kind of style with hints and tips on all things that a girl could be or probably is interested in from shopping to afternoon tea to recipes to hints and tips about household things - the modern girls handy hints book with a twist. It's a lovely book to flick through and to find lovely places slightly off the beaten track - weird and wonderful but useful information laid out in a beautiful way. It's the sort of book my best friend and me would write if we were younger, richer and free to travel.

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

And from the news desk of Miss A

Juicy are doing some of the best ad campaigns ever at the moment - you may recall my comment on the lovely tube displays they did over Christmas - something hits a chord - maybe it's the cut and paste fanzine hinting that makes me feel warm and familiar.

Leigh Lezark - front row here there and everywhere - she has great style and such lovely hair - I could hate her but I don't.

This new trend for the nude look - yuk in a word. Why would you go out of your way to make your clothes look bland and almost not there? Go figure?

Now this is a very good point and a HOT TOPIC if ever there was one (see the nod I did to Le Tigre there, did you see!) I've got my book on the revolution of 90's music and one about the girls from the fanzine world to finish off before I tackle this one properly but it's an argument I am seeing crop up more and more. Feminism is not the dirty word some lazy people think it is - nor is it about lesbians - it's about a whole heap of issues from abortions through to voting through to working - basically most aspects of a woman's life today yet so many have misunderstood the purpose and are quick to condemn.

And Naomi Campbell is proving that she has put that little temper tantrum episodes behind her and has befriended Mrs Brown (the woman behind the UKs prime minister) she is behind the White Ribbon Alliance which is all about throwing dinner parties for charities - which is not a bad way to raise money at all - go check it out!

I love this advert! I want the bag - I am never going to get the bag and that would make me really sad if it wasn't just a bag and I understand perspective.

I have booked my holiday from work and I don't know where to go or what I can afford to do yet but I found this little Grade II castle and I SO have to go - how cute would it be!??!! Actually I think I just want it as my house full stop.

Chanel have done it again - a new take on the old bag and it's come up trumps.

(incidentally Marie Claire have not sent me the bag I won...yet :o(

Check out her wares (so to speak) if you haven't done so before - Luella Bartley not too quirky it's not use able but not plain jane either.

OH MY's a country that obviously don't have anything important to worry about and certainly don't have anything worthwhile to teach their children!!

ANASTASIA RADEVICH £240 it's not love but it's special.

Military gear for girls oh yawn yawn yawn - what a boring fashion spread - at least mix it with some florals and some funky accessories please!

I love this dress - I want to be able to wear it with some nice dolly girl make up I don't know if it would suit my complexion but I'd make it work somehow.
More nude looks - see I told you it was everywhere but wouldn't you agree that this is the way it is done - gentle and feminine - pretty and lacey.

Now old Vivienne has bucked the trends for ooo well like forever and her she is bucking the trends again - and it'll make you want to buy her clothes just as much as if she had some youngun on there doing the cliche pose - infact I think I love VW all the more.

This reminds me of Grandma's dressing tables - the old style lovely carved things with ornate mirrors and hand mirrors with matching brushes and combs - it makes me quite nostalgic for a time I was never really a part of.

Now this kind of scares me a little.

Seriously - LV - boring - can I say that? Whatever I did and it's true - that cliche brown and gold is horrible - I really almost hate it - and these new colours - well it's hardly jumping out at you making you want to wear it now is it!?!?

A little chanel chain and a lovely weirdy print - gosh my language is so technical tonight - Coccinelle - £190.

The girls - the girls from the music scene now init - I think they've tried to do the one page of the 'safe' looks and the one page of the 'radical' looks - sometimes the radical can be too try hard but that's what pop performance is about isn't it - dressing up and performing but um Nicola what/is/going/on/there/?

And what is going on here - yikes!

Now this made me sick up a little - not only is there no way that anyone as young as Angie should be having face lifts - I mean how sick is it that people are so scared of the aging process they are now having big procedures done to prevent things before they happen - can I hear the words stupid and gullible please. But I don't know if she's had something done but those side face things are weird - even weirder is the Feather treatment face lift she is meant to have had done - a doctor makes a few incisions in your face and then goes into this to make a tunnel under the skin he then inserts a thread along the tunnel said thread has loads of little hooks on it that will catch onto the skin and tissue and pull it back so as to tighten the face once stitched up again and yes I have no punctuation in this so you have to read it really quickly to stop yourself from throwing up.

Dolls dolls dolls.

Courtney Love lectured at Oxford Uni - I haven't heard just what she said only snippets but a lot of the media seem to be seriously shocked that she is quite a knowledgeable person - one thing Courtney isn't is stupid - she has a very high IQ which is why it's frustrating when she's made so many dumb decisions about things and people at times. As for Kate Moss she's trying to turn to acting now and is going to star in a play by her beau Jamie Hince. This lady is getting boring. I used to like the kills until they were mossed - it ruins every band she has been near - sadly.

I thank you and good night.

I make models out of sticks and stones

Well no I don't but it's just a flippant comment about people taking themselves and life too seriously and being aggressive towards many things and people unneccessarily because of it.

At school the slightly different child is the one to get picked on.....normally by the kid who is so horizonatally boring/average so you know it's about insecurity and jealousy - but you don't know that as a kid so the sticks and stones thing really does hurt. But as you grow up you know for a fact that the adults that are mean are the ones that are insecure and/or jealous......yet they still do it.........and for those of us that understand this concept - ie most of the adult world - they really are just showing themselves up.

I didn't quite fit in at school and to be honest I don't think I quite fit in now either but I am pleased about that. I am me - and I never pretend to be anything more or anything less. I know myself so well nothing I do anymore surprises me but the other thing is I don't just know myself I understand I am human. I understand I am insignificant in the grand scheme of things but I also understand a stupid comment can crucify someone momentarily - and I don't really think I have the right or the want to do that to someone unless you really are a complete tool of course.

People are scared of what they don't understand or what they can't label - but that isn't my problem or your problem that is a failing of the individual that is running scared.

It's hard to tell a child that the hell they are going through will toughen them up for adulthood - that it is only because there is something special about them. Very few children want to stand out when they are young. Weirdly it's quite often the shy ones that are the more eccentric to look at - I am not sure why or how that works but it quite often does.

I don't feel the need to berate others or to try to make someone look stupid to make myself feel better and I pity the people that do. What sort of person gets satisfaction from making someone feel hurt or upset? What sort of individual likes to see people fall?

There are those few circumstances - you know - hurt my loved ones and hell I am going to want to see you fall but I mean in day to day life? What a miserable existance to live.

So, if you ever fall foul to those terribly sad bullies in life - remember, they are weak, insecure and no doubt jealous - and that at any point you can walk away and get on with your life but them...well they can never walk away from themselves...they are stuck with themselves.

Sunday, 21 February 2010


The fringe is back - and I can't believe how happy it's made me - for about 8 months I have just had to grow it out to get it cut back again thanks to a rubbish cut a while ago. £45 it cost and to me that is a lot of money - maybe I just don't have a clue but........with the two treatments she wanted me to buy it would've been another £55 but no way am I spending £100 in one go at the hairdressers unless it's for something super. It's only a little hairdressers off the beaten track too but well the main thing is the fringe is back!!

(the rest of my hair has been pulled up I wasn't that brave this time I am still trying to grow my hair - slowly but surely)

The weekend has gone by way too fast with way too much of my Saturday being taken up by some ridiculous issue called tube maintenance - I have never in my life walked around in such confusion and that really is saying something. It would've been a rubbish journey for free but the fact I had to pay for it is disgusting - and get this - because of how they have changed the barriers at one tube station I had to pay a full extra tube fair just to walk 2 minutes along one piece of crappy corridor. I am so outraged I might just have to write a letter (a sarcastic take on the English temper). I finally got to catch up with my friend Jo and exchange Christmas presents so it was worth it and boy did she get me a fabulous gift - I saw the Octopus bag and just knew I was going to love whatever was inside but the contents of the bag outdid itself....thank you Jo.

I am going to go and watch Up! again for the final leg of my weekend. Why oh why do two days off work pass like 3 hours of work time. It seems most unfair. Speaking of unfair - why is it always the case that just as you think your perfectly applied nail polish has dried you totally mess up one nail?

Let a child be a child

There are many problems in the world today - and I am sure that this has always been the case. One of the things that rattles my cage on a near daily basis is how children are not being allowed to be children anymore.
I grew up in the country and would go out to play with the neighbourhoods children - using my imagination and having harmless fun.

Today, a lot of kids will go around in gangs to feel like they belong and they are not the harmless gangs of my youth that is for sure. They will sit in all day on their playstation or xbox and not get any fresh air and not really be using their imaginations.

It's been said that Footballers are becoming the male role model in the life of a lot of children and all I can say to that is 'Dear God!'.

I see young girls wearing heels (yes Suri Cruise is guilty of that at 3 years old), I see young children in short skirts and knee high boots and tshirts with two lemons positioned in a really inappropriate place saying 'Please squeeze these.' Who the hell sells such tshirts but more to the point - what idiot is buying them!?!

Miley Cyrus was thrust upon us and I will not thank anyone for that - we've seen what childhood fame can create and quite often it really is not pretty, but now Noah Cyrus her little sister is being unleashed on us too with her new fashion range for kids. She is 9 years old....I've seen some of this fashion range and honestly fish net tights, knee high boots - it's just wrong.

Kids need to be kids for as long as they can be and then they can go into adult hood as a fully round human being - not going into adult hood too quickly without being fully equipped - that's never going to lead to anything pretty....and I am sorry but neither is this........

Look Good...Feel Better

Now I think it's quite safe to say we all like to look good. And if we feel that we look good nine times out of ten our mood will be increased. We will feel better about ourselves and our outlook on life will lift a little. So, that's pretty important for our existence - as fickle as it might sound as I know that beauty is only skin deep.

Think of it this way though. You have been diagnosed with cancer and your whole world has just come crashing down around you. One of the things, especially women seem to get scared about is losing their hair. I can only imagine that on top of all that you would have to deal with - that when you look in the mirror and don't even see yourself looking back at you - it's got to be a very tough thing.

This is why I love this new initiative called Look Good....Feel Better. Cosmetic companies are donating products and make up artists are donating their time to hold workshops for cancer suffers. To show them how to tie a head scarf in a flattering manner, to talk about wigs, to go through how to apply make up to make you look like you again. Such a simple concept but I have a feeling it will make a huge impact on the people attending. For a few hours those people can have fun and feel feminine again.

Please visit for further details of how you can help or how you can attend.

Friday, 19 February 2010

I smile so wide it's beyond ear to ear

SO....after 4 years and with a little bit of touching wood in mind, I have been declared a free woman.

I went for my post-op' check up yesterday - and finally things have worked. I still have a long way to go to getting my health back but the big thing is that now it's a forward process not one step forward 20 steps back as it has been for the last 4 years.

My feet are doing a little tap dance whilst I stand. My face is on full beam behind the scenes.

I feel a bit scared to celebrate but given time I know that will pass.

I hope to never take things for granted again - to know how it messed with my mind and body - well I think only I will ever fully understand the depth of that one.

Thank you again to those that have been there and stuck by me.

And those that haven't - your loss :op

All in all - this is a positive time.

And hopefully an up lifting message for others too.

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Valentines Day/Hallmark Holiday/But nice all the same

Well it had to be didn't it! Ella's Bakehouse. These cakes are almost too beautiful to eat but honestly there is so much sugar about half way through a cupcake you can feel yourself going cross eyed from the sugar rush.

The best Audrey wall hanging I have seen for a while - it made me laugh - I haven't got it......yet!

China Town - Chinese New Year - lots of pretty lanterns and some great drums going which sadly you can't hear from the photograph - if I knew a way....yeah yeah there is video but.........

This roof in the British Museum is quite something but it is so huge it kindof makes you feel like you are going to fall over.

Just one of London's many beautiful buildings.

The next best cake shop Pat Val an old haunt of mine - Patisserie Valerie.

In Munchkins cafe having a tiny mug of hot chocolate.

In the British Museum - this is so much prettier than the machines they use in today's shops.

The Warriors of the Plains exhibition.

I still haven't managed to find a distance learning course in Native American Studies but I have been meeting some interesting people during my search so it was nice timing that this exhibition was on.
So is that it for another year then - D and I don't have to show each other that we care until next February 14th - yeah you got it I am being sarcastic and showing what a load of stinky old poop the whole concept of Valentine's Day is but hey it was an excuse to have a nice day out.