Saturday, 23 January 2010

Slap in the face with a reminder of the past

This is something that makes me quite sad, mad, angry, upset and hurt - it's all sorts of emotions but I am yet to find a good one in amongst them.




What am I talking about? Well, it's a friend - someone that I have put up with a lot from over the years that we have known each other - somethings quite huge, but I've always tried to believe in that person and to help them gain a better future/life for themselves. I have recently found out just how much bullshit they have been spouting about me. I don't know if that is what has gotten to me or if it's actually the fact that a couple of people have swallowed it so willingly they have almost gone back for seconds. Now, what do you do? There is no point in confrontation as it will get messy and turn into a he said she said scenario that I really have no time for. When I've tried to confront things there have always been excuses.



Do I ignore it and just think hmmm well jealousy is a curse. Do I just cut contact with this person or do I try to find a way to understand?

This person hasn't been all bad every day or anything but just some things are seeming to be almost unforgiveable from a 'friend'. In fact sometimes they have been really quite nice. Hence why I have stayed friends with them.

Friendships grow and friendships change - some go along the same path some branch off - some just never alter and feel like a dress that is too tight. Some just should never have been from the start.

Betrayal is what I call an act such as this and that is never a nice thing to feel. I could 'get my own back' but I am not that sort of person. I should've just walked away from it all with a shrug, but I am human and sometimes have my off days and sometimes come out with all guns blazing. But honestly, how can you protect yourself against lies? How can you justify or try to explain away someone else's meddling. Do you pity that person? I mean what a shame to go through life treating the right people in such a wrong way. Am I more angry that I have let myself be a part of all this or more angry that even now I would still help this 'friend' - am I maybe too nice for my own good? I never believed that there was such a saying - but I find myself nodding to myself about it now. I know my defences were weakened by all the health issues that I was going through - but not anymore......now I feel strong enough to just walk away. It's quite a revelation to not have to fight for my good name and to be mature enough to finally think - whatever let people believe what they want - the truth will out eventually and if it doesn't, then so be it - these people obviously weren't part of my life's plan after all.

3 comments:

  1. Sometimes I'd rather not know what people said about me. I don't know why.

    Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing

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  2. "Friendship" isn't about all of this crap! True friends don't / never will do that to another friend. I know it's cliche... but life's wayy too short!

    DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS... EVER!!!!!

    The best way I've found to deal w/ this sort of thing (and I have had to many), is to calmly, emotionless tell the person(s) that they've hurt and disappointed me... and that I deserve and expect better from friendships. The "emotionless" part of this conversation is EXTREMELY important, as it accomplishes a couple of things:

    1) It actually gives us great personal and inner power. Calm = power, especially in the face of turmoil!

    2) It shows them that we're above all of this (part of their crap is done to pull us down into their unhappy world). When we don't settle, or except their 'ways,' it again creates personal power. They want us to be unhappy, so when we CALMLY express our disappointment, it defines us!

    It's all about NOT SETTLING FOR LESS than you deserve. You, me, he, she doesn't deserve this from anyone, especially "friends."

    Find people who are on your path, with your expectations, wants, and needs.

    Dayne

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  3. Ally - I hear you - sometimes it's nice not to know but I realise no one is nice about you all the time but sometimes you have to be able to say no or get lost :o)
    And Dayne - spot on - such sound and good advice - I thank you very much for that!

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