What am I talking about? Well, it's a friend - someone that I have put up with a lot from over the years that we have known each other - somethings quite huge, but I've always tried to believe in that person and to help them gain a better future/life for themselves. I have recently found out just how much bullshit they have been spouting about me. I don't know if that is what has gotten to me or if it's actually the fact that a couple of people have swallowed it so willingly they have almost gone back for seconds. Now, what do you do? There is no point in confrontation as it will get messy and turn into a he said she said scenario that I really have no time for. When I've tried to confront things there have always been excuses.
Do I ignore it and just think hmmm well jealousy is a curse. Do I just cut contact with this person or do I try to find a way to understand?
This person hasn't been all bad every day or anything but just some things are seeming to be almost unforgiveable from a 'friend'. In fact sometimes they have been really quite nice. Hence why I have stayed friends with them.
Friendships grow and friendships change - some go along the same path some branch off - some just never alter and feel like a dress that is too tight. Some just should never have been from the start.
Betrayal is what I call an act such as this and that is never a nice thing to feel. I could 'get my own back' but I am not that sort of person. I should've just walked away from it all with a shrug, but I am human and sometimes have my off days and sometimes come out with all guns blazing. But honestly, how can you protect yourself against lies? How can you justify or try to explain away someone else's meddling. Do you pity that person? I mean what a shame to go through life treating the right people in such a wrong way. Am I more angry that I have let myself be a part of all this or more angry that even now I would still help this 'friend' - am I maybe too nice for my own good? I never believed that there was such a saying - but I find myself nodding to myself about it now. I know my defences were weakened by all the health issues that I was going through - but not anymore......now I feel strong enough to just walk away. It's quite a revelation to not have to fight for my good name and to be mature enough to finally think - whatever let people believe what they want - the truth will out eventually and if it doesn't, then so be it - these people obviously weren't part of my life's plan after all.