Tuesday, 27 October 2009

So here’s the thing….

…a friend of mine is a fun, friendly lovely person. She is outgoing but not in your face. She’s honest and opinionated, but not rude.
Her Manager at work has been most suggestive with her for some time. Might I add that said Manager is also married with a baby!
I don’t know if he thinks he’s being funny? He’s not.
I don’t know if he thinks she’s just playing hard to get? She’s not.
I don’t know if he does this with all his colleagues? I don’t care, it’s not right.

My friend is scared to make a formal complaint about this in case she isn’t believed or loses her job. That’s not right. But I have heard of this before.

A lady I used to work with was sexually harassed at work until she no longer felt safe in her work place, she made a formal complaint and was just moved around the companies other offices until she was finally pushed out.

I had a security guard that used to try to get me trapped alone with him in the basement. I todl him he was out of order so many times but ended up leaving the job.

I know people that have been picked on for their sexual preferences even though it has never affected the work they do.

I know people that have been bullied in a way that you only ever expect to find in schools, just for being a little different.

I know of someone who was picked on at work and shunted out of the company purely because he was good at his job and a threat to his boss.

Now, we spend a big chunk of our time at work, another decent amount of time travelling to and from work. We need to make it as nice a place as we can whilst still being professional. Being unhappy in work can lead to it over taking your whole life, ruining your health and your relationships.

Most people bully because they are insecure or jealous. It’s hard to remember that though if you are a sensitive soul. Don’t ever let someone make you question yourself and your behaviour and your beliefs. You know if you are a good person living in a good way. Try to hold your head up high. It’s not so easy if you have to dread going into work, if you have to fight to keep from crying or walking out the door. Life shouldn’t be like this, it’s hard enough just getting through your day to day without someone placing stumbling blocks in your path.

I have a girl at work that makes me feel uncomfortable; I feel judged by her and used to take it really personally. It’s gotten to a level where I have decided not to bother with a lot of social things that go on in work. Over time I have found that there are a good handful of people that I get on well with here and feel comfortable with and that has become more important than being the most popular but also the most judged. One or two people should not ruin what is on the whole a good job with good people.

I have decided to be a popular person amongst my little crowd and sod the rest. But it’s not easy. I still have days where I feel total dread.

But no one ever has the right to make you feel that way.

It might be that making a complaint puts my friend out of a job BUT I do believe she would be better off out of such an environment. In many of the cases I have briefly touched upon the said bully has since been removed from post. Shame that the innocent has to suffer first. This life isn’t fair. And that sucks. But don’t let someone make you feel negative things. Life is too short. Believe in karma – it’s helped me through a lot.


  1. http://lakikikaka.blogspot.com/
    Also good blogs about fashion. Look if U want to see a fantastic fashion.

  2. Hi Alison.
    I was wondering if this could be any help to your friend..

    It was just an idea i had. :)

  3. "Most people bully because they are insecure or jealous. It’s hard to remember that though if you are a sensitive soul. Don’t ever let someone make you question yourself and your behaviour and your beliefs."

    Nuff said right there! I agree agree agree more than I can tell you... oh, I AGREE!!!


  4. Lakikikaka thanks for the links - I'll check them out as soon as I can.

    John thanks for the link I sent it to my friend - not sure she can use it but you never know.

    Dayne - I am glad that you get it so well - although it makes me think you've suffered too - people can be mean - but rest assured it's always the good ones that make people feel threatened so I like to see it as if you have been picked on it's almost like a stamp to say you are a good un.

  5. oh alison, Dayne is a real tuff guy under his cute looks. Im mean as hell with him alot and he's right there back at me with understanding words. He'd kill me tho :)