Monday, 26 October 2009

It's for you-hoo

Because my name is Alison I quite often appear as the first name in people’s mobile phone’s. This can lead to some very interesting voicemail messages. I seem to be the worlds unluckiest person when it comes to mobiles, I hate talking on the damn things but they never seem to work for me – the signal is always so gappy that it becomes a game to understand the conversation as you have to fill in the gaps yourself. I have a habit of mishearing things in life and hearing funny or slightly shocking things in place of what was originally said. So much so that sometimes people don’t bother to tell me what they really said as they feel what I had misheard was better.

I get so many random calls where it’s the sound of a train moving. But every now and then you get some beauties. Like people having a drunken conversation down the pub, you can hear all that they are pondering and talking about then call them the next day talking about it and they’re like OMG that’s so freaky I was just saying that the other night, and I can be all coy and ‘oh really where you?’ haha.

But telephones in general – yuk – I really don’t like them. A genius invention there is no doubt BUT I don’t want to be available to everyone all the time. I don’t mean to offend anyone by that statement but! I find it really rude to be with someone for an evening then spend a chunk of it on my phone. Long calls on mobiles hurt your ears – they get hot – it’s not nice. If I think about how I look whilst on the phone it starts to make me giggle (all arms flailing whilst holding this little thing to your ear) which I think can be quite off putting to the person talking to me. Some people put you on speaker so then all you can hear is your own voice coming back at you, eww horrid, have you heard how your voice sounds!?! I sincerely hope it doesn’t sound that way to everyone else. I spend so much time at work 'missing each other' on the telephone, hours spent trying to track someone down on the telephone, and then that lovely sentance of 'get your people to call my people and we'll sort something out'.



I would always much rather someone spend the phone call cost on coming to see me instead. Catch up properly. I used to talk for hours on the phone until my Dad got so annoyed he asked me to pay for my part of the phone bill, when that didn’t put me off he started to limit me to 20 minute calls. It had a huge effect on me, I started to talk at super sonic speed and this big pause would happen after 20 minutes – and this was when I wasn’t even on the phone.

I then got involved with a ‘charming’ man that would be really mean to me when I was on the phone – would keep interrupting and would then make out I was talking rot on the phone and really belittle me for it. Needless to say said man is very much long gone but the issue with the phone is still with me.

But it does have its uses. A friend text me at the weekend just to tell me how much she appreciated my friendship. This probably wouldn’t have been so eloquently phrased if we’d have been sat next to each other – we’d no doubt have gotten a little embarrassed, and over the phone it would’ve probably led to an awkward silence, as it was it led to a really sweet interchange of texts. Aww bless.

D’s dad didn’t like to have a phone in the house as he thought it was an intrusion. I only got a mobile about 8 years ago – but I remember that it never seemed to matter. People would just find me. Now we seem so lost without them it’s almost funny. But there goes the phone ringing again, I kind of see what D’s dad was talking about.


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