Friday, 11 September 2009

You do it to yourself....you do....and that's why it really hurts.....


I am so hungover! Not how Friday morning was meant to start. At 1am this morning I was still sat out on a roof somewhere in Camden.....what was I thinking? Well, that's just it....I guess I wasn't! D had a gig (his band are called Gravanzia) at the Rhythm Factory in London. I went along and took some photographs for them. Tapped my foot along and cheered. I first saw D's band play about 8 years ago - long before we knew each other and even longer before we got together. It's nice to see how much they have progressed in that time. I know 'nice' isn't a word that many people like to have used about them as it sounds non committal, or something, but it is nice to see how their sound has changed and progressed....I sound very bias when I say this but D really is a brilliant drummer. He's self taught and does have quite a unique style. Yay to my boy.


Boo to my head pain. I got up early (fool) to go to the shop to buy what must've been the biggest bag of junk food ever...a classic tell tale sign of the hungover person. I am sat at work clutching my coffee and pretending to look human. So far, I think I have them fooled!

On the theme of music....sort of, I have to say I have been quite shocked at how badly some of these gigs and club nights have been organised of late. There are so many venues in London that you would think that the competition would keep people on their toes. But D's band had two gigs cancelled in one week for the same venue. Paul's band had a gig cancelled, put back on then cancelled again. Ana's boyfriend had a gig cancelled, they had travelled all the way to this venue, spent an hour trying to sort out the shoddy sound system, just to be told that the event hadn't been promoted so the crowd would be all the bands and the people that they had brought with them. The event never happened, said shoddy equipment stayed shoddy. I think it's mean to do such things to a band - you get all hyped up, you tell all your friends and bam no sorry guys just another night in for you now. It also looks bad on a venue. Promoter. There's a small hint into what they are meant to do in their job title don't you think? Maybe I should go in for a career change and show them how it's done ☺☺

Travelling to work this morning, head firmly in hands, I had the accompaniment of Nada Surf. I am having a huge 'stage' of listening to them over and over and over at the moment. The song 'Mother's Day' should be enough to make you all love them. I kid you not.


The lyrics:

"What do you see when you look at a girl?
Is she a game you wanna win?
If no one was looking
What would you do to get in?
Do you have friends who would be proud
If you went in for the kill?
Do you have friends who would do it
Even against her will?
What if they did that to your sister?
What if they did that to your mother?
Why are we so slow?
I bet you think you're such a hottie
But a body afraid is not a sexual body
Everybody's been laughed at
And everybody's been left out but,
That's no excuse to turn it around
No boy has the right to hold a girl down
On your star wars sheets
When you get the scene
Was she seducing you
Or did she want to scream?
It's you versus you versus you
I can't forget that tomorrow's Mother's Day,
I'm talking to you
You know who you are
Going too far
You'll feel good for ten minutes
She'll be screwed up for life
Blue balls and all of that bullshit"

Heavy! The subject matter isn't pretty but I am so glad that someone has had the balls (excuse the pun) to write about something like this - the lines 'You'll feel good for ten minutes, she'll be screwed up for life' and 'No boy has the right to hold a girl down'. Brilliant. So true. Just like the Senser lyric about it's not why doesn't she leave, it's why doesn't he stop!

I got attacked only a few months after I moved away from home for the first time. Bad timing. Not that there would ever be good timing for such things. I was lucky - my attack didn't lead to rape, they 'man' that did it, well, they thought he would lead on to rape eventually. And it was that thought that made me sick. I had to go and give a report on what happened. They treated me mean because I wouldn't play the victim and cry. Believe me, I did cry but not at the police station. Why should I let some sad twisted sicko ruin my life, no way. The guy had been hiding in some bushes and jumped out and grabbed me and tried to push me into the bushes. I was rather vocal and it scared him. I went into some weird overdrive and as he tried to run away I started shouting at him to try to draw attention to us, and also I kept thinking, get a look at his face, his clothes......and then suddenly it dawned on me, that the 'man' in front of me was the same person I had been reading about in the paper just the day before for attacking someone else. The police took a really long time to come to see me, then had a go at me for the delay. I was taken to the next town a few days later to do a photo impression of the guy. Seriously, the person that I had to work with had been called in from his holidays and boy did he want me to know it. I walked out in the end. I saw a report in the paper - the least read paper - talking about what had happened. It was such a pathetic article. I had gone to the police to stop him from doing this again. They told me that the summer holidays were coming up and that children vandalise shops when bored and that would be their priority. My parting words were 'Thanks for your time, I hope it's not your daughter next'. Yes, I sound mean. But I was pissed. One policeman stopped me on my way out to say that he felt really guilty as he had actually driven past at the time of my attack but he thought we were having a 'lovers tiff' and could I forgive him. I had a lady from victim support visit me. She gave me a door chain. I thanked her, saying I was grateful but unsure how it was meant to keep me safe on the street.

I consider myself lucky. My 'ordeal' could've been so much worse. It made me lose faith in the police service for a while, but now I realise I just had to deal with the rotten apple in the cart and I still respect the police service. I also feel that it opened my eyes, it took away my 'green', which considering I then moved to London, came in useful. No point being bitter kids. I just hope that the guy never went on to do the unthinkable.

3 comments:

  1. The story of a little girl name Ling

    http://stephenchuah.blogspot.com/2009/09/story-of-little-girl-name-ling.html

    Nice to meet you.. I'm Stephen

    ReplyDelete
  2. sounds fun though, i wish i lived in london and hung out on roofs in Camden haha! :)

    xoxo

    natalieoffduty.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks guys - I've checked out both of your blogs and like them! So thanks for finding me. Yeah the rooftop in camden was a great idea until I had to get up for work the next day and ouch! But I feel bright a button today and the sun is shining so - lets hit the rooftops again ☺☺

    ReplyDelete