Sunday, 20 September 2009

The internet conspires against I hit back with a blog about fashion

...let the battle commence. Oh heck forget it I win - every time I win - it's my Internet annoying me so I have the power to walk away and do something else instead but I am going to try to put up some pictures and woffle on for a while......

NO! NO!!

AND NO!!!!!!!!!!

Three classic fashion don'ts. I can't even begin to think who would or even why and if you found yourself looking at any of those three pictures and thinking hmmmm nice - think again and quickly - honestly I will be saving you from fashion suicide. It's not a fashion statement, it's not even a fashion question mark it is definitely a fashion fuck up, OK!

And so is this, lets be fair! It was under the title of best of British - that hair is hideous - so much so even Angelina couldn't pull off that blow back bouffant.

But ah, bliss. There is not one of these dresses I would not happily let you buy for me ☺ All are high street so are affordable - all are wearable and all are quite lovely - that is all I want from fashion.

And these boots - Hearts and buckles and mmm mmm mmmmm (How long is it til Christmas? I've been a good girl Santa - honest I have.)

But then what have we hear - Scary Miss Mary on the catwalk - I really don't think I like this look of put as many kirby grips in your hair as possible so that you will never get through customs, so you will have no hair left on your head by the time you remove them all and so you have a rigid metal hair look. Not one I will be copying and to be honest - that model kindof scares me! Her dress is quite cute though - one of the times mixing pink and red really works...not that I have ever gotten it wrong you understand........

And this, in a word, WHY? I know the 80's are making a big comeback but purlease there are some looks that were left there on purpose you hear.

BUT LOOK! I told you I knew my stuff - TAVI marked up as The Prodigy. I thank you and allow myself a pat on the back for noticing a good thing when I see one.

I love Vivienne. I can't afford to wear Vivienne - not even in the sales but I love her all the same. When I first heard of this ad' campaign I was a little perplexed. But I think it kindof works.

Speaking of adverts, I think this has to be one of my favorite ever. Juicy must've invested so much money in this latest campaign - it's everywhere - Bond street tube looks like a shrine to them - it's on everything - floors, name it, it's probably there. It looks like how my life should be every day and how my life is in my head every day - it's just amazing.

Now old Kate Moss - she's done a few ad' campaigns in her time. She's been mostly a body and face and no mouth - and I think she should have stuck to that tried and tested formula at the GQ Awards - not only did she act like a brat as the lime light wasn't on her - she was potty mouthed spotty faced.......well actually if she had dirty fingernails she'd have been the female Pete Doherty without any of the 'charm'. I am guessing this was not the look or image she was going for. Apparently the next day she said it was all a joke.......well yeah, there was sure one joke going on that day love.

Speaking of bags (oh how I make myself laugh) look at this baby - it goes with the shoes I wanted last week - oh Santa I have been very very very good...........

And this, well I think the hair looks like a wig that slipped - but they can pull off the purple lippy look to perfection - I look like I have been dug up when I try it - so I don't anymore, but the coat on the right, I love it. It looks like a muted painting a small child has done whilst crawling on their hands and knees but for some reason I really like it.

But what? Is she trying to look like a Robin? Why take a pretty slim girl and make her look like that!?!
And this? See above about how some things should be left in the 80's.

I saw Lindsey Lohan wearing some leggings like this and just thought well you wouldn't want to cross your legs now would you - and there are some where the studs are on the back of the leg, well how do you go about sitting down in those? I then realised how useful they would be on a crowded tube train.

And finally - to put my faith back in fashion this week, I don't know why they work - they are impractical on every level - won't keep your feet warm or dry, prints are mixed which my mommy told me was a no no, ridiculous heel but somehow for some reason they work - and from Topshop so they won't make the credit card work too hard either.

And Grazia's round up of what is number one............I have to say not bad - considering some of the options they had to work with, it could've been far uglier than this, but I don't think there is anything I wouldn't wear.

My full apologies for the layout of this post - I think that the pc is having a hard time and I cannot try to fix this one more time and still keep my sanity - sorry!

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