I have just read an article about a lady whose husband died 4 years ago leaving her a widow at the age of 36. She has now found new love and is moving onwards and upwards with her life. It's amazing how society makes you feel like you are doing something wrong by wanting to carry on living your life and not just surviving. That somehow by moving on and not falling apart that you didn't love that person enough or that you don't love them anymore. I used to spend hours as a child worrying about my family dying. Even now when my other half (he shall be known as 'D' for the purposes of this) is later home than expected I start to feel that panic bubble rising up. If the lady has found a second chance at happiness then she is lucky. It's a bitter old world we live in sometimes.
Over coffee this morning we decided to look at pictures of Lurcher puppies. Why we do this to ourselves I don't know - it's like torture when we know we can't have a pet in rented accommodation. But, look we still do. These baby lurchers are the cutiest thing - I miss having a dog. I keep thinking about sneaking one into the house, knowing that D would not make me return it. Even though I have a big park on my doorstep - I have no garden of my own so my sensible head always tells me to put the brakes on that idea as it wouldn't be fair to the poor puppy dog. I hear that having a pet is very good for your soul and is great at helping with depression or general convalescence. Well, my devious mind reminds me that I am due to have another operation in a few months time, maybe I could get my doctor to write a letter to my landlord highlighting the importance a pet dog would be to my recovery......I could work the guilty angle like a charm.....but somehow I have a feeling I am living in Ali's World again. I'm just going to have to make do with Bubbles the cat for now.
I've been looking at Courtney Love's new project - of making clothes. I am intrigued - and she over accessorises in the most fantastic way. She appears to be making clothes out of lace, old victorian style outfits and table cloths (fact), but once in a while the amount of lace and muted pastel dye it can end up looking like someone sicked up a rainbow of lace. I am sure that is not the description she is looking for but sometimes she gets it oh so right and sometimes just oh so wrong - not a bad impression of her life I suppose.